Australian Man Has Big 'Ol Honkin' Snake In Pants
I have yet to go down under (once this headache goes away, I swear! heh heh), but from my trips to Vegas I can confirm that Australia is indeed known for its trouser snakes.
Unfortunately in the case below it was less oiled up chests drizzling down onto windmilling, strobe-lit didgeridongs, more actual poison snake inside a rancher’s pants.
Turns out the video is from 2018 but I saw it popping up on Twitter again this weekend & decided to do some research.
Thanks to Toy Story I believe there can be a snake in your boots when you go to put them on, but a snake going up your pants while you’re wearing them? The first time I watched this I was all-in on its authenticity (Australia is one of those wild places where I just blindly accept any batshit crazy story I hear), but after watching a few more times I wasn’t sure..
This guy is doing ranch work, untangling a wire for some reason when a highly venomous, deadly Great Tiger Snake slithers up his pants out of the blue?? Thinking quickly, he uses wire clamps to cut off the section of jeans right below his balls & then says he’s got no one to call so he’s making a video instead??
The plot thickens & suspense escalates when he mentions he has a theory about not killing snakes that he’s starting to question.. Will he have to go against his own morals & kill the snake to survive?! The climax comes when he counts down from three & then flings it as he jumps up & sprints off. The snake doesn’t look that big, and it all happens so fast you really can’t tell if it’s alive or not.
I decided to stick with my skepticism & call ‘fake’ on this, but because I am often wrong I decided to do a little more research.
Turns out my general policy of accepting all wacky Australia stories at face value still stands. It makes a bit more sense hearing more of the story from The Mirror:
Farmer China Gibson was out doing fence work when his dogs started chasing a snake, unbeknownst to him. Seeking a safe escape in barren landscape, the snake then went for a gap at the bottom of his jeans. That clamp he talks about in the video actually went on the snake’s head where it’d lodged itself near the top, so that’s why he was able to film & move a little; he knew it couldn’t bite him. That also explains how he was able to release the clamp & fling it out – it was pretty much knocked out by the clamp.
I do not know if this bitch went quiet when I clamped the jeans tight on his head because he could not breathe or he was trying to work out a way to open his mouth to bite me.
Stay nuts, Australia.
Either way, it’s given me some ideas for a video of my own that will finally go viral. I just need a subway platform, an animatronic rat & a pair of bell-bottom jeans.
