"You Better Get Outta Here Cause I'm Fixin To Blow It Up" Terrorist Threat Or Man Who Ate Fried Food Before Going To Home Depot?

WICHITA, Kan. (KWCH) A report of a bomb threat at a Wichita Home Depot store turned out to be more of a warning for other customers in the restroom.

Sedgwick County Communications released a 911 call in which the caller states that someone may have a bomb at the store.

“We just had a customer here made what may have been a bomb threat,” said the caller. “He said, uh, somebody told me there’s a bomb in here and you need to leave the building. He said it three times.”

Police went out to the Home Depot at K-96 and Woodlawn to investigate.

Someone there told staff they overheard the threat in the store’s restroom.

Police did some investigating and learned the “bomb threat” came from a man in a bathroom stall warning others about the severity of his need to use the restroom.

“You all need to get out of here because I’m fixin’ to blow it up.”

This story isnt worth a blog in my opinion. It’s happened a few times lately and people need to stop being such pussies about a little explosive reference while you’re in the bathroom. If you havent heard this phrase before, grow up. People shit, ok? People shit hard. People shit so hard that the water mixed with poop leaves stains on the underside of the toilet seat. That’s life in America, folks. Our diets are different. We go hard in here.

That being said, I was at a PetSmart one time with my wife. She needed to do a piss so she said she’d be right back. 5 seconds after she left to go to the bathroom at PetSmart, I get a call.

“You gotta come see this. It’s the biggest shit I’ve ever seen.”

So like any good husband, I went to go look at some other woman’s shit. It was as big as a Pringles can. It was a fucking LOG. I still have no idea how someone fit that poop out of their butthole. If that was me, it would have split me straight in half.

Shitting that big is a reason to call first responders, not someone saying they are about to blow the bathroom up. I say that at least 5 times a day and so does 1/3rd of your officemates. Diarrhea is an epidemic.