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John Mayer Announced Dates For A Solo Tour This Summer And I Am FULLY Erect

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Rolling Stone- Less than two weeks after Dead & Company conclude their summer tour, John Mayer will embark on a solo U.S. trek. The 27-date North American leg begins July 19th in Albany, New York and concludes September 13th and 14th with a two-night stand at Inglewood, California’s the Forum. Tickets for Mayer’s tour go on sale to the public February 1st.

July 19 – Albany, NY @ Times Union Center
July 20 – Providence, RI @ Dunkin’ Donuts Center
July 22 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
July 23 – Washington D.C. @ Capital One Arena
July 25 & 26 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden
July 28 – Pittsburgh, PA @ PPG Paints Arena
July 30 – Toronto, ON @ Scotiabank Arena
August 2 – Detroit, MI @ Little Caesars Arena
August 3 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center
August 5 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
August 6 – Milwaukee, WI @ Fiserv Forum
August 8 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena
August 9 – Charlotte, NC @ Spectrum Center
August 11 – Atlanta, GA @ State Farm Arena
August 12 – Indianapolis, IN @ Bankers Life Fieldhouse
August 14 – Chicago, IL @ United Center
August 31 – Snowmass Village, CO @ Snowmass Mountain
September 2 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center
September 3 – St. Louis, MO @ Enterprise Center
September 5 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center
September 7 – San Antonio, TX @ AT&T Center
September 8 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
September 10 – Phoenix, AZ @ Talking Stick Resort Arena
September 11 – San Diego, CA @ Viejas Arena
September 13 & 14 – Inglewood, CA @ The Forum 

Let’s. Fucking. Go. This came outta NOWHERE. At the end of John Mayer’s weekly Sunday show ‘Current Moo’d he pulled out a map and started putting pins on a map of the United States and Canada. At first I didn’t know if he was talking about Dead and Company tour dates but it became clear he was talking about a solo tour and I instantly got a boner. I still have the boner as I type this. He’s performing back to back nights at Madison Square Garden and I’ll be there both nights. Nothing can stop me (unless I die between now and then which would be a real bummer).

The last time Mayer embarked on a tour I went by myself. It was just after I moved to NYC and I trekked alllllll the way out to Holmdel, New Jersey alone to see him at the PNC Bank Arts Center. For those that don’t know, PNC is an outdoor venue and it is majestic when filled with John Mayer tunes. It was truly amazing. I had never seen him perform live before and it was more than worth the two hour trip out there. He even had New Jersey-native Jeff Ross open for him which was different and cool.

The only problem with going to a John Mayer show alone is when he plays Slow Dancing In A Burning Room. It’s a great song, and one of my favorites, but it’s a make out song (despite it being a break up song) when played live. So when he played it literally every one in the crowd started making out with their significant other and I was just toe tappin. To make matters worse, I was in a row where there were only three seats so it was a man and a woman and me. They made out the entire song and I just stood there like an idiot. Other than that, great concert. There’s a billion John Mayer fans at Barstool so I’m guessing a bunch of us will go this time around. That way all of us can stand awkwardly while the rest of MSG sticks their tongues down each other’s throats. Should be a blast.