When Do All the Patriots Haters Admit I've Been Right All Along and Apologize?
It’s been a long, difficult and lonely road I’ve traveled the last year or so. The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides with the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men, and all that.
Going all the way back to late 2017, the world has declared the Patriots are a chaotic mess behind the scenes, with disgruntled superstars rising up against their cruel overlord over the issue of who gets to get backrubs from a personal trainer, where. A coach who’s resentful because he was undermined by ownership and forced to trade the future GOAT. With all of them planning to quit the team because they’re drowning in a sea of bad blood. Brady is in decline. And the Dynasty, at last, was over. For good.
From Minute One I stood my ground. I refused to give into the zeitgeist of negativity. I spent the years writing about how wrong the anti-Patriots jihadists were. How exaggerated the internal drama was. How the Pliability War is overblown. Brady’s decline is an illusion. How there is no end in sight to the Bradichick Epoch. I wrote a million blogs on the topic and I rocked them all. And for that I was slandered, libeled, called words you never heard in the Bible.
And obviously, the Patriots have proven me right.
So, in order to take the high road and prove just what a kind, forgiving, and gracious man, filled with the spirit of Christian charity, I’m offering all the haters the chance to see where they were wrong and just how correct I’ve been. And for them to apologize. Presented in chronological order:
The Latest Brady-Belichick “Rift” Conspiracy is Upon Us After Alex Guerrero’s Banishment
Quote: I don’t doubt the facts in The Globe article. (Even though it’s by Bob Hohler, who did the hatchet piece about Brady stealing money from special needs kids.) I just refuse to take the ridiculous leap of illogic that because Brady can’t have his buddy around that he’s miserable now and he and his coach are heading for couple’s counseling. Sorry, but I’ve been hearing this same bullshit in one form or another for at least 15 years and all these two have done is work brilliantly together. One of the great, underappreciated aspects of Brady is how he respects the chain of command. He’s never once put himself above the team.
I Can Confirm the ESPN Report About the Patriots Infighting is a Pack of Lies
Quote: No one is leaving. No one is retiring. Not Brady. Not Belichick. They are both under contract and here to stay. This whole phony report is coming from outside the organization and the people behind it have been bragging this was coming. … I have never been so positive about anything since I called shenanigans on the infamous Mort “11 out of 12 footballs” Tweet. I said then there was no truth to it and never once in the three years since have I had to move off my spot. And I won’t this time either. Of that I’m sure.
Bill Belichick Denies Every Major Point of the ESPN Hit Piece
Quote: Next July when Belichick, Brady and Mr. Kraft are all walking the practice field at Gillette, you’ll remember who was telling you the truth and who was selling you a pack of lies just for the clickbait. And in advance let me just say “You’re welcome.”
Would Patriots Fans Consider Trading Bill Belichick for 3 First Round Picks?
Quote: It’s just conjecture. Fantasy. No different than if I say my second choice after The Irish Rose is Kate Beckinsale. To paraphrase the source, you think Mr. Kraft became a billionaire and runs the best organization in all of sports by letting his most important asset get within a hundred million miles of the end of his contract?
Mr. Kraft Talked to Tom Brady and Assures Us Everything is Just Great
Quote: So if the consummate professional and a guy who his hyper in tune with his body decides he needs the mental and physical rest, and his owner who loves him like a son is OK with it, I’m OK with it. If he says everything is fine, everything is fine. For instance, we’re hearing that these reports Brady is working out at TB12 just a couple of hundred yards away from the practice field are false. And that Gronk is on the verge of working out a new contract but by the CBA it can’t be final until Thursday. So I’ve decided all is well.
The Biggest Story Lines of Patriots Training Camp 2018
Quote: Is This the End of the Pliability War? This is low on the list only because whether the war ever happened or however serious is ever was, it’s not going to manifest itself in camp. Players will run drills. Belichick will walk around twirling his whistle and telling stories about working for Ted Marchibroda. Swear words will be screamed and laps will be run. Business will be done as it’s always been done.
Quote: The Bradichick Dynasty has been pronounced dead more than Jason Vorhees. And on a certain level, I get it. The Patriots are victims of their own success. … So I could counter the arguments. But let’s save that for playoff time. Or maybe when they clinch the division, a playoff bye or homefield advantage. For now, it’ll be a lot more fun to count down the hits. To list the top 10 times the world was wrong and reports of the Patriots death was greatly exaggerated.
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The Boston Globe Declares the Patriots Dynasty is Officially Over. Again.
Quote: Declaring the end of the dynasty is a time-honored tradition in New England.
These are actually just a small sample. I’ve got literally dozens of these, but this game is over and I’d rather just rest my starters and take a knee rather than run up the score. But I’m ready for everyone who called me a homer and a schill and a fanboy to admit how right I’ve been and say they’re sorry.
This committee owes me an apology! This committee owes me an apology!!!