World's Fastest Man & Soccer Hopeful Usain Bolt Retires... OR DOES HE?!?!

Ah, ok, he does. But read through & hear me out on this because I have a proposal…

Hailing from Jamaica, Usain Bolt is quite possibly the fastest man alive; At the 2009 Berlin World Championships he hit 27.8MPH during the 100m race, he has 9 gold medals from three separate Olympics, 11 World Champ wins, & several world records. After more than a decade dominating the track, Bolt chose to retire in 2017 telling reporters,

“It always feels good to go out on top, you know what I mean?”

But it seems he wasn’t quite done yet. Pulling a ‘Michael Jordan retires but goes on to play minor league baseball’ sort of move, he announced he was signing with Australia’s Central Coast Mariners soccer team in February of 2018. But now, according to Euro Sport:

Usain Bolt has confirmed he has “retired” from professional football after failing to agree a contract with Australian side Central Coast Mariners late last year after a trial.

Hope I’m not out of line here, but Usain – if you’re looking to try one more sport before you bow out, I know some team owners who’d probably love to have you on their Aukland, NZ squad.

I did the math & it’s only a quick hop from where you are now, so it’s sort of meant to be…

He’s a longtime Stoolie (brick by brick) so I’m sure this’ll get some traction. In the meantime, if you can ignore the cornily intense music, here’s a compilation of his fastest races. There’s no denying he’s one of the greats, and I think it’ll be a long time before anyone tops Bolt’s records.