Belichick Might've Just Killed Ben Volin. His Weapon of Choice? Sarcasm

I’m calling it. Patient’s name, Ben Volin, Boston Globe. Time of death: Approximately noon, January 11th, 2019. In this real life game of Clue it was Coach Belichick, in the press room, with biting sarcasm.

Poor Trollin’ Volin. Like I’ve said before, I have no personal beef with him. He might have utter contempt for the organization he covers and his target audience. But that just puts him in the company of about 90 percent of the New England press, and I get along with the man. And Belichick would’ve given this answer to anybody. He’s an Equal Opportunity basher. Like I said the other day, his press conferences are a white hot crucible. You have to walk in there like it’s the Sakaaran Arena in Ragnarok. Only he’s Thor, Hulk and the Grandmaster all rolled into one hoodie-clad body. And if your question is off message, beside the point, wiseass, ill-informed or just plain stupid, he’ll crush you with the hammer of wit or slice you in half with the blade of passive/aggressiveness. Which is why my questions are always his favorites and we bond like soulmates.

So yeah, it had to have been at tough moment to be on the receiving end of that. Like barking out a comment in the middle of the set of a great insult comic, he walked right into it. You can just see the coach waiting to deliver his comeback, pausing, setting up the punchline with the timing and pitch-perfect delivery of a master. Well enough that you can almost hear Don Rickles clawing at the top of his casket, wishing he had been that good.

I’d agree I wish they’d just kick the ball off already, except I don’t want to be the brunt of Belichick’s next classic verbal beatdown. Besides, it’s these days in between the games that we get to see this true comedic genius at work.