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The Police State Reminds the Citizenry it's a Crime to Eat Chicken Nuggets Off the Road

SourceThese chicken tenders aren’t for pick-up. An Alabama sheriff’s office is warning people against eating chicken that tumbled on to a rural highway after a truck wreck.

An 18-wheeler crashed on Alabama 35 on Sunday, spilling boxes of chicken tenders in Cherokee County near the Georgia line. Motorists began stopping to pick up the food, which authorities say created a traffic hazard.

The Cherokee County Emergency Management Agency posted a notice on its Facebook page asking people to quit picking up the chicken. The notice says the food isn’t safe to eat after hours on the ground.

This is how freedom dies. One tasty piece of fried white meat poultry at a time. Fate is kind enough to provide delicious chicken tenders to the people of Cherokee County, and the jackbooted goons of the Emergency Management Agency threaten them with arrest for the crime of bringing a little nutritious joy into their lives.

The food isn’t safe to eat? My ass is safe to eat. Eat up, you thugs. You anti-nugget Stormtroopers. We’re still Americans. And if we want to eat crispy fried chicken treats off the highway, we have the right to. And it’s the cruelest thing I can think of to for divine intervention to give this great fortune to you citizens, only to have the government deny them because it “isn’t safe.” One man’s Five Second Rule is another man’s Five Hour Rule. It’s in the Constitution somewhere, I’m sure of it.

I’m  man of peace. But the next time the highway is littered with chicken nuggets and The Man tries to keep us away, I say we riot. #Resist