I Believe I Can Fly... right over to R Kelly's house right now, and punch him in the dick.
Happy Friday.
There is a new 6-part documentary airing on the LIFETIME Network called Surviving R Kelly. I just watched and it is a fucking DOOZY. I HIGHLY recommend it if you are able to pull yourself away from some stupid fucking game show that has you guessing what NHL star is under the Mickey Mouse head singing “Uptown Funk” while Jenny McCarthy tries not to smile aggressively enough to pop the fresh plastic surgery stitches in her hairline.
Allegations about Kelly’s inappropriate behavior toward underage girls have been around since the early 2000s, but this series is the first platform where dozens of women along with members inside R Kelly’s inner circle are culled together on camera outlining this scumbag’s alleged physical, mental, and sexual abuse of underage girls.
Truth be told, I had a tough time finding the LIFETIME network on my TV, but once you do, I think most people who are familiar with his story will still watch this thing and say “What the fuck?”
Whereas I tuned in, and all I want to say is, “It’s about fucking time.”
More than 50 people are interviewed, including John Legend, a backup singer named Sparkle, and the perennially annoying talk-show host Wendy Williams… All these, plus members of the Kelly family and some legit journalists, primarily from the Chicago Sun-Times.
Here’s a full list of those who spoke up:
• John Legend, R&B star
• Wendy Williams, talk show host
• Kathy Chaney, Chicago Sun-Times journalist
• Carey Kelly, younger brother
• Bruce Kelly, older brother
• Craig Williams, music producer at Chicago Trax
• Marc Williams, a high school friend and member of MGM
• Jamilah Lemieux, journalist, cultural critic
• Lena McLin, music teacher at Kenwood Academy
• Jovante Cunningham, survivor, backup vocalist
• Sgt. Jacques Conway, retired Oak Park police sergeant
• Mikki Kendall, co-creator of HoodFeminism
• Jamie Nesbitt Golden, co-creator of HoodFeminism
• Demetrius Smith, former tour manager, personal assistant
• Ann Powers, music journalist
• Lizette Martinez
• Oronike Odeleye, founder of #MuteRKelly
• Andrea Kelly, ex-wife, dancer
• Dr. Khadijah Monk, professor of criminology
• Sparkle, recording artist, backup vocalist
• Abdon Pallasch, former Sun-Times journalist
• Kim Janssen, former Sun-Times journalist
• Lisa Van Allen
• Touré, journalist
• Gem Pratts, a childhood friend, a former security guard
• Dr. Candice Norcott, a clinical psychologist
• Mary Mitchell, Sun-Times columnist
• Tarana Burke, founder of #MeToo movement
• Raven Ginger, a childhood friend of the alleged victim on sex tape
• Tracii McGregor, media and music executive
• Richard Devine, former Cook County state’s attorney
• Nelson George, music journalist
• Leslie “Big Lez” Segar, journalist, BET personality
• Dr. Jody Adewale, a clinical psychologist
• Miss Info, hip-hop journalist
• Jerhonda Pace
• Michelle Kramer, mother of Dominique Gardner
• Tim & Jocelyn Savage, parents of Joycelyn Savage
• Tom Joyner, radio personality
• Kitti Jones
• Alice & Angelo Clary, parents of Azriel Clary
• Asante McGee
• Faith Rodgers
That list is very impressive (and very urban), but what I find particularly interesting are the people who said “No fucking way!” when asked to comment on this freaky fuck.
The list of these cowards includes pop-culture icons such as Lady GaGa, Jay-Z, and Dave Chappelle. I wonder if their silence will ever be addressed… I seriously doubt it, but if you guys think a boycott of the new “Lion King” movie sends the proper message, I will gladly sit that one out and tell Beyoncé’s punk-ass husband to kiss my ass.
I won’t go into too much detail because the documentary does a much better job than I ever could. However, I can tell you that by the end of the first 2 episodes you have a clear profile of a sexual predator who stalked high school girls… Many of whom were given promises of stardom. And once he got his hooks into them, these conquests quickly turned into victims who were eventually held hostage in a manipulative and urine-soaked sex cult.
If you get a moment, watch Surviving R Kelly, or at least read some of the coverage provided by the Chicago Sun-Times. If it doesn’t make you as angry as I am right now after watching the first 2 installments, it will at least make you feel creepy when you listen to his pedophilic lyrics going forward.
And if this exposé isn’t enough to get the #metoo movement motivated to sharpen their pitchforks, then that whole “movement” is just like my last bowel movement… Full of shit.
This guy is the black Woody Allen who is simply the next perpetrator in a long line of musical artists who like to fuck kids, and he deserves to be fucking blackballed. Lemme know if you agree.
Take a fucking report.
-Large
I have a cheesecake blog on the horizon to wash the taste of this soulful creep out of my mouth, but in the meantime, if you need a refresher on that teaspoon of pre-cum some people still call Woody Allen, here’s the blog I wrote on him…
And if you want a reminder of just how many other artists think leather pants and a mic give them a license to pillage kids, here’s the link to the blog I wrote on rock and roll pedophiles…
