Guess I'm Not Getting Dirty Dogs For Dinner

At 7pm I finished out the Hi Haters! show on Barstool Radio & hopped out of the studio with a spring in my step. This crisp, cold, Winter night was still young & I decided it was the perfect evening to stroll North from the office, check out the holiday windows at Macy’s, do a little shopping, & grab myself a fancy meal near Times Square to top it all off.

That meal? One of my local favorites… The NYC dirty dog. Marinating in that famous fluoridic tap water & its own essence all day long, getting plumper & juicier as it’s tapped repeatedly by the glistening, silver tongs fishing out its golden-brown brethren. A veritable hot dog hot tub of mystery meat logs awaiting my hole for only $5.50.

Just to clarify, we’re talkin’ food hole here. (Mouth.) (Heh, heh.)

But then along the way I saw this Tweet & all was lost… the cart I was heading for was ablaze in full meltdown mode.

That Sabrett cart was hotter than a piece of white bread covered in mayo, American cheese & a small spread of Gulden’s mustard (have I mentioned I’m white).

At least I’ll be the first one reporting on this important, smoldering story.

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SON-OF-A…

Man… it’s been a rough year for hot dog carts all around. Hope 2019 is better for ‘em.