Hey Honey, How's College Going? Oh Just Sucking Off Cow Guy's Udders? Cool.

I like to joke that I never want to have a daughter, only to realize it actually wouldn’t be that bad. Those jokes are gone. Could you imagine being one of these girls’ fathers? Yeah how were classes yesterday honey? Doing anything for Halloween? Oh great daddy, studied for my test all day, did all my homework, had a girl’s night and watched Hocus Pocus. Meanwhile you were blackout drunk and engaged in a four way udder suck off from some guy dressed in a cow costume while you were dressed as a Playboy Bunny. Not to sound like KFC here, but if you’re one of these fathers and you come across this footage you have to kill yourself. There’s no return.

I honestly thought that video was the first 15 seconds of a Dare Dorm porno. It probably was now that I think about it. Those always seemed so real when I was younger and now you just assume they were scripted and there wasn’t just someone filming a porno in the middle of the dorm. Back during my amateur phase those were always my go-to. Why did I have a girlfriend in college for 2 years? We all could have been cow guy on Halloween. Just point to yourself and call yourself an idiot. I do it at least five times a day.

*I just discovered it’s udders and not utters (points to myself)