Panasonic Releases Human Blinders To Help People Stay Focused While In Their Cubical

Source - Say hello to Wear Space, a mule-like blinder system seemingly designed to fully complete your metamorphosis into company workhorse. How does it work, you ask? Well, according to the folks at Panasonic, it’s simple: Wear Space limits your ability to observe the real world.

“WEAR SPACE is a wearable device designed to aid concentration by limiting your senses of sight and hearing, via noise-canceling technology and a partition that controls your field of view,” helpfully explains the product page. 

Panasonic debuted the head gear at SXSW earlier this year. However, clearly sensing it had a hit on its hands, the “Panasonic group” Shiftall Co. launched a crowdfunding campaign to move this idea from the realm of complacent nightmare to defeated reality. 

So go ahead and plop down the roughly $258 needed to secure yourself an early bird prototype. It might just land you the job of the managerial class’s dreams. 

I actually don’t hate these. A lot of people are saying that they’re depressing and demeaning and goofy, but I think I like them. Granted, I would end my life if my employer forced me to wear them, essentially turning me into a human horse, but these kind of seem like a good idea.

It’s like wearing a gigantic “fuck off” sign around your head at all times. People see the blinders and they keep it moving. No more small talk or forced conversations; you don’t even have to make eye contact if you don’t want to. You can completely dial in and sink into the miserableness of your job. You can probably even take a snooze. My only complaint is that they look a little “Star Trek-ie.” I don’t want my blinders to become a conversation piece.

Regardless, the fact that there’s a market for these reminds me of how good I have it at Barstool. There is simply nothing worse than sitting in a cube counting down the minutes until you can go home. I did it every fucking day for years. I’d get into work at 9:00 AM, start counting at 9:15, and leave at 5:30 PM a defeated man.

So if you’re reading this and happen to be in a cube, I feel your pain. Stay away from the white light, the weekend is almost here. That and grab yourself a pair of blinders so work isn’t so bad on Monday.