Here Are The Top 5 Goals From The NHL Last Night (10/17/18)
So here’s the deal. Some nights, mostly Tuesday and Thursday nights, there are at least 10 different goals to choose from for the Top 5 blog the next morning. Other nights, mostly nights where guys like McDavid and Matthews aren’t playing, there’s not exactly much to choose from. But you the people still deserve a way to mindlessly kill some time to start your day at work and I’m here to provide that to you. Just don’t shoot the messenger when the goals aren’t quite as filthy this morning as usual.
5. Johnny Ham & Cheese Gets Goal Number One Hundo
Alright so obviously this goal right here is just a tap-in on an empty net for Johnny Hockey. But this is a lifetime achievement shoutout to Johnny Gaudreau. An undersized kid from South Jersey who didn’t really even think the NHL would be an option for him until the moment he got drafted. Listed at a generous 5’9″, 165 lbs. The pride of South Jersey. Obviously he got to enjoy a few years of watching Dany Briere play with the Philadelphia Flyers so the blueprint was there for an undersized guy to make it in the league. But for Ham&Cheese to not only just make it to the show, but to stuff home his 100th career goal last night? Against the city where he went to college? Nice little moment for a guy who was probably told countless amounts of time that he wasn’t going to make it. 297 points in 318 career games so far for Johnny Hockey. What a stud.
4. The Office Starring Alex Ovechkin > The Office Starring Steve Carell. Sorry If That Offends
One of these days I’m finally going to get around to writing a letter to Gary Bettman detailing the fact that some assists need to be worth two points. Because while Ovi was the one who eventually scored here, that keep and sauce from John Carlson deserves to be worth more than just an apple on Carlson’s point totals.
One-handed reach to keep a bouncing puck in the zone. Manages to have just enough time to settle the puck down a bit and then chucks a little bowl of sauce that lands right in Ovi’s wheel house. Basically teed Ovechkin up with a tap-in from the top of the circles. All I’m saying is “The Office” first aired in March 2005, and the final episode was in May 2013. Alex Ovechkin’s career started in 2005 and he’s been scoring goals from The Office to this very day. Didn’t even have a Robert California phase either.
3. Speaking Of Ridiculous Keeps At The Blueline, Have Ya Met Mike Reilly?
I know that my Flyers bias is going to be showing here but this is a Gostisbehere-ian play from Mikey Reilly at the blueline.
Opens up those hips. Gets a little mohawk action going on there. And then what the mohawk allows Mike Reilly to do is as soon as he gets past Brayden Schenn, he can then get his body going right back toward the net to get a shot on at a primetime angle without trying to shoot this puck from the boards. So you’ve got the footwork going, you’ve got the puckhandling skills on display to keep that puck away from Schenn and inside the blueline. And then it’s just grip and rip past Allen. Fucking beauty of a goal right there that looks like it’s directly out of the Shayne Gostisbehere “How To Be Really Good At Hockey” Textbook.
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2. Patrice Bergeron Seems Like He’s Just Showing Off At This Point
As a Philly guy, I am extremely uncomfortable giving any sort of credit to Boston sports. Especially right now after that Celtics game the other night, the fact that the Red Sox are going to end up going to the World Series, and things seem to be going perfectly fine for the Pats. So the fact that the Bruins are loaded as well makes me hate you fuckers even more than I already did. But as much as I wanted to leave this Bergeron goal out of the top 5, my heart wouldn’t allow me.
A 360 no scope on a bouncing puck right over the shoulder of Mike Smith? That’s some shit you see when you’re out playing street hockey with your buddies after school. That’s a playground goal from Patrice Bergeron.
1. “Sidney Crosby Ain’t Shit” – Adam Henrique, Probably
Everybody always cums their pants whenever Sidney Crosby scores one of these goals where he bats the puck out of the air and into the back of the net. Now I’m not saying that any of those goals aren’t impressive or anything like that. But Adam Henrique is saying that Sidney Crosby ain’t shit and he’s certainly not the only guy in the league with some hand-eye coordination
Henrique’s may even be more impressive than Crosby’s. This guy had to skate through the crease, have Hickey all up in his shit, almost skated past the puck so he had to redirect it back behind him, and he still managed to put it in the back of the net. And now Adam Henrique currently leads the league in RBI’s.
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BOZO OF THE NIGHT AWARD:
Congratulations to St. Louis’ Colton Parayko who is the first ever winner of our “Bozo Of The Night” award. 10 seconds left in a tied game on the road, Colton Parayko decides to just send the puck across the front of his own net, and ends up getting the secondary assist on this Brendan Gallagher game winner.
Ya just hate to see it. Something you learn the very first day you put on a pair of skates. All you have to do here is just send this puck back off the glass and you at least get a point heading into overtime. Instead, Parayko tries to do whatever the hell he was trying to do with the puck there and that’s all she wrote. Brutal break.