Thursday Homestretch/I HATE NY/White On Green Crime

The article below won’t mean much to many, but for the handful of people who worked with me at Citigroup in the early 2000’s, this story about our former jerk-off boss selling his mansion for $80 million should be infuriating.

ON THIS DAY IN HISTORY

– Reggie hits 3 home runs off of 3 consecutive pitches from 3 different pitchers in Game 6 of the 1977 World Series vs the LA Dodgers.

-Legendary soul singer Al Green (Let’s Stay Together) fell victim to the first documented case of White on Green crime.

Mary Woodson White, a girlfriend of Green’s, became upset when Green refused to marry her (Although she was already married!… “Women!, amiright?”).  So she snuck into Al’s Memphis home and poured a pot of boiling hot grits down his back while he was in the bathtub, causing severe burns on Green’s back, stomach, and arms.  White then found Green’s .38 in his bedside table, and she killed herself.

For the record, both White and Green were black at the time of the attack… And I will check my sources, but I believe Green is still black.

Going one step further, Jack White from the White Stripes and Frank Black from the Pixies count both Al Green and James Brown as two of their biggest musical influences, so you could say that black Brown and black Green influenced white White and white Black who probably hate the now deceased black White.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah!”

I HATE NY

I don’t buy newspapers anymore, but I was in 7-11 buying lottery tickets on Tuesday when I spied the front page of the DAILY NEWS.

NYCHA SHRIEK SHOW!
-Tenants rage as rats infest Bronx complex
-‘We hear them at night in the walls’

Accompanying these headlines was a grainy photo of a group of rats furiously copulating on a kitchen counter at the Claremont Rehab apartments in the Bronx.

Apparently, there was an infestation of rats in the basement garbage compactor of some filthy housing project in the Bx.  Authorities thought the best way to handle it would be to shut down the compactor and wait for the rats to go elsewhere.

Like clockwork, the rats did go elsewhere.  They went upstairs into the apartments in a desperate search for food… And by all accounts, these were no ordinary rats.  They were rodents of unusual size.

Asia Clemente (one of the tenants) said she came into her bedroom one August afternoon only to find a giant rat gnawing on her 1-year-old son’s back.

Krushaun Person had a similar story, where he entered his living room and discovered an enormous rat sitting on his couch.  The rat refused to budge until city workers came over and killed it with a rake.

A 24-year-old tenant known only as “Sue” said a rat ran across her foot while she was changing her 8-month-old’s diaper.  She kicked the rat as hard as she could, but the beast stood its ground.  She then let her cat into the room to defend her honor, and the cat ran away… What a pussy!

But think about that- This city is so fucking filthy that it has essentially broken the evolutionary chain… It is now:
1) Humans
2) Female Humans
3) Dogs
4) Filthy Fucking Giant NYC Rats
5) Cats
6) Mice

“Dogs & cats living together”?… Yeah, they are.  But only because they are circling the wagons to battle the Brobdingnagian rats.

The second story (in two parts)…

New York City broke two records recently.

The first- The number of city students living in homelessness reached an all-time high for the school year that ended in June.  114,659 grammar school kids were deemed homeless, which is just more than 10% of the 1.1 million kids enrolled in NYC schools.

The second- New York City has marked its first weekend without a shooting in 25 years, police said Monday.  The last time the city had a weekend without shootings was in 1993, but the number of murders is on the rise again this year.  In the first half of 2018, the city recorded 147 murders, an eight percent increase over the same period in 2017, and mostly in the Bronx.

So let’s sum up… New York City is filled with cat-eating-rats that have no problem gnawing on homeless kids while those kids’ parents took a weekend off to reload.

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Fucking perfect… “Now, that’ll be 3K a month for a 1 bedroom, fifth-floor walkup… No cats allowed.”

I HATE NY.

Take a report.

-Large