Does This Look Like The Face Of A Guy Who Won't Be Charged With Bestiality Because Florida Law Doesn't Explicitly State That You Can't Perform Oral Sex On An Animal?

NYDN- Florida authorities are powerless to prosecute a former animal shelter worker accused of performing sex acts on a dog because of a loophole in the state’s anti-bestiality laws — a development that has outraged animal activists. While a Sunshine State law enacted last year prohibits bestiality, it doesn’t explicitly forbid oral sex with animals, the Tampa Bay Times reported Wednesday. Now, animal advocacy groups are calling for an amendment to the law after the Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney’s Office reportedly declined to charge suspect Eric Antunes with animal cruelty for allegedly engaging in oral sex with his girlfriend’s three-legged pit-bull mix. 

Happy Monday!

Just a little bestiality story to go with your cup of joe this morning. Not just bestiality, we’re talking animal oral sex! It’s fine though. He got away with it somehow. What was this dude’s reaction when he found out he wasn’t gonna be charged for sucking a dog’s dick? What was his family’s reaction? That’s what I wanna know. Was he like, “Yay!” but also super depressed once he realized he was celebrating getting away with sucking a dog’s dick? That’s a low point you don’t see coming when you’re a kid. That’s not exactly something you celebrate when the judge tells you you’re free to go.

I have a lot of questions. It’s gotta be super weird explaining to people how the bestiality charges were dropped. I feel like people will be like, “Oh they dropped the bestiality charges? That’s good. I’m guessing it was just some misunderstanding in the first place” and then he has to si them down and tell them that there was no misunderstanding at all. Make no mistake about it. He sucked the dog’s dick. He did it. The reason the bestiality charges were dropped were because Florida law doesn’t explicitly state that sucking a dog’s dick is illegal. Verrrrrrrrrrrrry Florida that their laws outlaw bestiality but leave a little wiggle room for oral sex. That’s as Florida as it gets folks.

I found this part about the dog having three legs peculiar

the Pinellas-Pasco State Attorney’s Office reportedly declined to charge suspect Eric Antunes with animal cruelty for allegedly engaging in oral sex with his girlfriend’s three-legged pit-bull mix.

So the guy just saw an opening and went for it? I’d be curious to know which leg was missing.