Jeff Hardy Is Competing In His First Ever Hell In A Cell Match Tonight

Tonight, at WWE’s annual Hell in a Cell event, Jeff Hardy will take on Randy Orton inside the dreaded devil’s playground – and quite frankly – I’m afraid for the well being of Hardy.

He’s gone on record saying he is prepared to do something we’ll never forget. With his past history in mind…

…I’m inclined to believe him.

Instinct is telling me it’ll be an attempted Swanton Bomb through the announce table, off the cage (which is red this year, stupidly – they’ll regret that when they realize how much harder it’s going to be to see through), and I say attempted because Randy would HAVE to move to survive. Let’s take a look at the last two times (and only two times) somebody has gone off the new and improved 20 FOOT TALL cell (it was 16ft when Mankind was thrown off)…

…both times, as you could see, it was Shane McMahon going off the cage and through ringside announcer’s tables, where he was attempting an elbow. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn on Chris Jericho’s podcast spoke about how dangerous a stunt this is, and how difficult it was to time getting off the table safely, noting if Shane landed on one of them the wrong way – they could be dead. Literally.

A Swanton Bomb is much more dangerous to attempt from that height than an “elbow” like Shane’s, because it involves a full rotation of the body which could of course – in worst cases – Jeff could over-rotate and land on his tailbone/feet/face. Which, knock on wood, would likely either paralyze or kill him. Any of those. Even with the crash pads under the table.

Now there’s always the chance it’s not an attempted Swanton, and that he’ll be thrown off or something, but I think Jeff, nearing the end of his career, would like to have what is likely his last-ever giant stunt like this outwardly be his own doing. There’s also a chance he does something completely out of the ordinary I can’t even think up, obviously, too.

So yeah, keep your eyes out for a gif of Jeff Hardy’s 41-year-old ass flying off a 20-ft cage tonight. Say a prayer for him if you’re into that stuff, just keep him in your thoughts and send good vibes if not.

PLEASE DON’T DIE!

PLEASE DON’T DIE!

PLEASE DON’T DIE!