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Does This Look Like the Face of a Guy Who Faked Down Syndrome So He Could Get His Diaper Changed?

Downs Syndrome

SourceAn Arizona man feigning to suffer from Down syndrome tricked a series of female caregivers into bathing him and changing his diaper, according to investigators who have filed felony sex abuse and fraud charges against the creepy scamster.

As alleged in court documents, the scheme by Paul Menchaca, 30, began in May when he advertised on CareLinx, a “nationwide professional caregiver marketplace” that connects clients with home care givers.

In response to the ad, a caregiver corresponded solely via text with a woman named “Amy,” who claimed to be Menchaca’s mother. … Police allege that “Amy,” who arranged for payments and provided care instructions, was actually Menchaca himself.

The first caregiver told police that she bathed Menchaca and changed his diaper on about 30 occasions. The woman told police that Menchaca occasionally complained “aggressively” that his genitals “were not cleaned enough,” which prompted her to wipe them “more thoroughly.” The caregiver added that Menchaca “had an erection every time his diaper was changed and when he was bathed.” …

A probable cause affidavit filed in Superior Court noted that “Amy” asked the caregivers to “punish” her son “when he soiled his diaper by putting him in timeout and taking away his privileges.”

You know, in a weird sort of a way, you can almost admire a good scammer. Someone who uses their wits to put one over on you. Whether it’s the guy who talks people into some Ponzi scheme, some TV preacher who separates fools from their money or whoever catfished Manti Te’o. It’s evil, but there’s a level at which you have to respect their ability to put one over on others.

Guess what Paul Menchaca is not. That person. Holy shit, if this isn’t the grimmest, darkest, most disturbing news item I’ve ever blogged. And if there is an all-powerful and merciful God, it will remain that way.

First of all, if you know anything about home health aids, you know how they have one of the toughest jobs in society. I did comedy for a trade group of them once and the supervisor who booked it told me they are mostly women who want to be caregivers but can’t afford nursing school so this is the best they can do to pay their bills. So they spend all day traveling around providing comfort to the most vulnerable, needy people among us. The absolute last thing any of them signed on for is to wipe the ass of Mr. 50 Shades of Infantilism here to satisfy his warped, twisted, perverse urges.

Second, in a world where normal people do charity events for people with Down syndrome, have jobs programs for them and assimilate them into public schools, how hot a place would Hell need to eternally house a guy who says “Hey, I could pass for someone with Downs! What if I use that to make hard working strangers clean up my shit then beat off about it later? Perfect!”

The answer is, Hell doesn’t have that place. Regular Hell is too good for this guy. For Paul Menchaca, I prefer the model from Dante’s Inferno, where Hell is nine concentric rings. And the deeper you go toward the middle, the worse the sinners you’ll find there. So your outer ring is basically Pagans and atheists. Your middle ring might be thieves and adulterers. And the innermost is a frozen lake formed from the tears of Lucifer himself called Cocytus, where they keep the ones who betrayed people who trusted them. Mutineers, traitors and the like. In the middle of the lake, frozen with his eyes wide open so he can see all the harm he did, is Judas. And the only justice in this world would be for Menchaca underneath with his eyes wide open, staring into Judas’s icy ass crack and forced to have Iscariot’s frozen shitsicles pooped into his face until the end of time. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go listen to a symphony or read some poetry or something to try to restore my faith in humanity.