Precrime Move of the Day: Woman Caught Dipping Her Chicken Fingers Into Soda At The US Open

Here I am on this Labor Day Monday enjoying some tennis when all of a sudden my jaw has hit the floor. It appears a young mother of two boys is enjoying a little lunch at the US Open by dipping chicken fingers into soda! What on Earth is going on? Preposterous is a word that gets thrown around a lot on this website, but that is a PREPOSTEROUS move. Not only should this woman be thrown in jail, but she should lose custody of her kids. To be honest, based off this move one could assume these two kids have been kidnapped by this woman and are being held against their will. If you are dipping chicken fingers into your coke then God knows what other skeletons you have in your closets.

I am flabbergasted. It’s honey mustard, barbecue sauce, or at a distant third ketchup as chicken finger dip choices. I kind of judge you if your personal choice is ketchup, but I’ll allow it when we’ve got people choosing fucking soda as an option. Imagine going to drink your soda when out of nowhere you get a chunk of breaded chicken flying up your straw? Disaster. I won’t allow this move to continue. I’ve alerted the authorities and she is being taken away in handcuffs as we speak.

This is the worst thing caught on camera at the US Open since Costanza had his ice cream debacle.