The Patriots Trade Jordan Richards and All of New England Rejoices
So no sooner was I done with the taking-out-the-garbage-like chore that is writing about a pretend football game in which a 7th round rookie QB lined up behind the law firm of Croston, Schwenke, Karras, John & Tobin, then I come up for air to this news. And my heart is gladdened.
I feel bad saying this about Jordan Richards, who is one of God’s children same as the rest of us and by all accounts from anyone who’s talked to him is a good guy and a great teammate. But … Bye, Felicia. Nothing personal. I hope he goes to Atlanta and becomes a star. I mean that. I just don’t want him on my team ever again. There are just too many repressed memories I don’t want to have triggered by seeing him in the Patriots secondary anymore.
My biggest worry the moment Malcolm Butler signed with Tennessee was that we’d go into this season cursed with the same defensive backs who played so badly in his place that it defies analogy, even all these months later. They played Nick Foles like … what? Like he was the client at a Fantasy Camp and they wanted to make him feel good? Like me playing Candyland with my kid where I’d deal off the bottom of the deck so I’d get sent back to The Molasses Swamp so he could win? I’m working too hard at this. Let me just say they were horribly, terribly, gawdawful. And I wanted the last vestiges of Butler’s subs wiped off the roster and out of my nightmares for good.
Well it looks like Eric Rowe is not only hear to stay, he’s the starting outside corner. Johnson Bademosi (emphasis on the Bad) is long gone. And now Richards has been dumped for a 7th round pick, which feels like steal. For the Pats. Again, nothing personal. But I won’t miss the My Pillow-soft coverage. The not-exactly-Pythagorean angles to the balls. Or the shoddy tackling, that had me saying this a few months ago, when the Pats were practicing with unofficial numbers on all the rookies, that made identifying guys confusing:
–For future reference though, when you see a defensive back badly miss on a tackle, never mind the number and just assume it’s Jordan Richards.
Ouch. That was catty as hell, but I stand by it. And I’m not alone. As Patriots Twitter has predictably welcomed this news the same way I have:
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Harsh, but we earned this back on the first Sunday in February. And now, to sort of repeat what I said earlier about hoping Jason McCourty sticks, this would certainly seem to help his chances of making the roster. Let’s hope so. If nothing else, he’ll not have that Super Bowl LII stench on him. And that alone makes him a better option than Jordan Richards. Best of luck in the future No. 37. But here’s a box for your things and security will see you out.