Greg Bird's 'Participation Trophy' Post-Game Interview Yesterday Was Nothing Short of Embarrassing And Pathetic

For quite some time I’ve been frustrated with Greg Bird. He’s long been heralded as the best pure hitter within the Yankees’ organization and having the perfect swing for Yankee Stadium’s right field short porch. Through his first three seasons with the team all he’s done is been a gigantic disappointment. For starters, he can’t stay on the field and has only played in 161 games in three years. For those scoring at home there are 162 games played each season. In those 161 games played, he’s done pretty much nothing. Aside from a productive September last year, a massive homer against Andrew Miller in the ALDS, and a decent week or so this year he’s been one of the worst hitters on the team.

Bird is hitting .211 on the year with an on base percentage of .302. When Bird isn’t hitting, the Greg Bird apologists out there tend to turn to his on base percentage. Well, Bird isn’t even getting on base anymore. He’s a fucking joke. Of anyone on the team he puts together the worst at bats by far. BY FAR. He doesn’t even field his position that well. The Yankees could have gotten out of Fenway with a win if he scooped Andujar’s throw in the dirt. Luke Voit easily scoops that ball. So yeah, Greg Bird has done nothing this year, or at all for that matter during his tenure with New York.

Yesterday, Bird came up with the bases loaded and nobody out with the Yankees trailing by 2 in the 9th. What did he do to a brand new pitcher coming into a huge spot? He swung at the first fucking pitch and fouled out near the Rays dugout. One pitch. Of course he did. Useless. Garbage. Pathetic. Embarrassing. Waste. The fucking worst. I cannot stand Greg Bird’s existence. And that was before his interview….

Dude is just happy to be here. Smiling away. Glad to be participating. This is the most games he’s ever played in the big leagues so he’s ecstatic about that. Wow! Good for you Greg! Yeah, who cares if you’re not producing for the New York Yankees? No one! Just glad you’re putting on the pinstripes everyday. Super.

You fucking cocksucker motherfucker. Popped out to lose the game, has been a gigantic disappointment time and time again. Any sense of disappointment that he’s letting the organization down? Nope, just happy to be here. That was something to say in perspective after hitting a game winning home run. It would be the perfect thing to say, in fact. You don’t say that when this team is stuck in the mud, after getting swept by Boston in Fenway recently, and you personally are doing nothing at the plate. You don’t say that after pathetically failing in a huge spot, putting up a worthless at bat to no one’s surprise. There’s something wrong with the clubhouse if this is the mentality from most guys. That falls on Boone for not being accountable. He tried to defend Bird after the game because he’s spineless and can’t go at his guys to challenge them.

The ending part of Bird’s interview was maybe the most delusional. He thinks he’s going to get 5-7 THOUSAND more chances in his career. Dude, you have 610 plate appearances in three years. Do you plan on playing for 50 seasons? Because maybe, just maybe, you would hit that number by then. That interview was embarrassing. If George Steinbrenner was still alive I think Bird would be cut by this time today.

This made me so appreciative of Giancarlo Stanton. Back in April when he was struggling more than anyone, he got all the shit in the world from the NY media. What did he do? Just say he’s happy to be here? Nope. He took it all on the chin, said he sucked, and deserved all the boos and said he would be better. He could not have handled the New York media any better. And he’s since responded and made this city love him. That’s how you handle struggling. Not say you’re happy that you’re healthy even though you’ve still missed a ton of games.

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I’ve got the answer. Ship Greg Bird to Washington and bring in Daniel Murphy.

The Nats are finished and have to be leaning towards selling right now. Murph is in the final year of his deal and is hot right now. Washington could get Bird and see what they can get in him since he’s still super cheap, or the Nats could just try to shed the remaining money on Murph’s final year and get rid of him. Man does he make a lot of sense for this team. I’m fucking done with Greg Bird and his participation trophies. Get me someone else. Mike Ford, Joe Mauer, Murphy. Someone else.

If you want to hear this blog in audio version, Tommy Smokes and myself basically yelled for 30 minutes about Greg Bird in today’s episode of The Short Porch.