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Terrell Owens is Calling the Patriots "Cheaters"

SourceTerrell Owens says Tom Brady is a cheater. Ditto for Bill Belichick and the rest of the Patriots … and it’s all on video.

T.O. was playing some pickup basketball with Sam Cassell — and, while joking around after the game, he playfully accused Sam of cheating. That’s when the anti-Pats trash talk began.

“You sound like the Patriots. You know what I mean?” T.O. says … “I don’t care about the Patriots. Belichick, Brady — they cheaters. They cheated. They cheated.” …

Owens still seems to have a soft spot for Brady, though … ’cause when Sam says he’d be a Pro Bowl player TODAY if he were playin’ with the G.O.A.T. — Owens doesn’t disagree.

Terrell Owens, ladies and gentleman! Pro Football Hall of Famer. Current Edmonton Eskimo. Insult comic. The Patriots cheat! Rimshot! Belichick is a cheater! Heyooo! Brady? He’s …  a cheater! Wakka wakka! It’s incredible how he manages to keep firing off the one-liners. He’s like the Jeff Ross of nobody’s generation.

The damnedest thing is, if Owens was one of those guys with the 2004 Eagles who thought the Patriots “cheated” them out of a ring in Super Bowl 39, it’s news to me. And some of them actually do. I mean, none of them can tell us exactly what the “cheating” was. It was three years before Spygate. There was no Tuck Rule involved. In fact, prior to the 2004 season they changed the coverage rules because the Colts bitched so much about the physical play by the Pats secondary.  I know Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Hell) went to his grave pandering to voters by claiming the Pats taped a Super Bowl walkthrough in 2001, but that’s not even worth addressing.

So what the actual fuck, TO? Even if he’s just busting balls, there is truth in jest. So just in case he really believes the Pats cheated him – and for our own entertainment – let’s run Owens’ career through YourTeamCheats dot com and see how pure and ethical his teams were:

–1990s 49ers - Jerry Rice admitted to using Stickum on his gloves after it was banned. QB Steve Young has admitted he used to duke the ball boys 20 bucks to keep the footballs warm in cold weather.
–2000 49ers – The owner was fined by the league for intentionally violating the salary cap.
–2004 Eagles - Backup QB Jeff Blake has admitted he routinely let air out of footballs.
–Cowboys – There’s nothing specific from the two seasons Owens was in Dallas. But Tony Cassillas has famously admitted the team took horse drug DSMO during their Super Bowl era, Jimmy Johnson openly talks about how he videotaped sideline signals. And a couple of years ago, the NFL’s Head of Officiating Dean Blandino was clearly seen on Jerry Jones’s party bus filled with strippers, which the league has lied about.

See? That was fun. Not as hilarious as Terrell Owens’s rapid fire delivery, expert timing and endless mental rolodex of killer “cheater” jokes. But filled with verifiable facts that come in mighty handy when someone plays the Cheatriots card. A razor sharp wit like TO’s is going to be missed at the Hall of Fame inductions, it truly is.