I'm Bringing Fanny Packs, (Yea-ah)

Live look at me down the Jersey shore this summer when I’m wearing my Barstool fanny pack.

But please, don’t let that scare you off from wearing one, too. ::waits for marketing to call me & ask that I stop killing sales:: As a slightly agressive drinker who’s often on the move (doing the robot, running from bouncers), I know the importance of a good fanny pack. And after years of getting ripped on for wearing one featuring The Vanguard Group investment firm (I thought it showed guys I was responsible, which they find incredibly sexy?), I’m well overdue for this upgrade.

In hand whilst wearing my fanny pack? A sweet koozie. “Sheesh” – England, 1776.

Just throwin’ this out there because today everything is 20% off and you’ll get it by the 4th of July. And as someone who clearly fucks with investments, I know a good one when I see it. Shop here.