Domino's Is Fixing Potholes Around America To Save Pizzas From Getting Ruined Or Something
Yahoo- Domino’s Pizza is filling in potholes in towns across the U.S. with a new ‘”Paving for Pizza” initiative. The American pizza chain announced on Monday that it will help “smooth the ride home” for deliveries by making pothole repairs in towns nominated by their customers.
Domino’s is offering to fill ‘cracks, bumps and potholes’ to smooth road conditions. The initiative is aimed at ‘saving pizza.’ Picture courtesy of Domino’s Pizza.”Have you ever hit a pothole and instantly cringed?” Russell Weiner, president of Domino’s USA explains, stated in a press release. “We know that feeling is heightened when you’re bringing home a carryout order from your local Domino’s store. We don’t want to lose any great-tasting pizza to a pothole, ruining a wonderful meal.” Domino’s has already been working with four municipalities to help repair potholes on roads, including Bartonville, Texas, Milford, Delaware, Athens, Georgia, and Burbank, California. In Milford, Domino’s says it helped fix 40 potholes on 10 roads in 10 hours with four crew members.
Domino’s customers can nominate their town for pothole repairs on the Paving for Pizza website, and if selected, their city will “receive funds to help repair roads so pizzas make it home safely.”
Over the last 24 hours, I have read about Donald Trump teaming up with Dennis Rodman to help denuclearize North Korea and Domino’s volunteering to fix some of America’s considerable infrastructure problems to get some good publicity save pizzas. Somebody clearly did something fucked up that caused the Butterfly Effect to land us in this Back To The Future II 1985b alternate timeline of reality. But as long as somebody is cleaning up the roads that Mother Nature destroyed after she railed the Northeast with a strap-on this winter, I am fine with it.
Now I’m sure people will hate on this because it’s the government’s job to fix roads with taxpayers money, not pizza companies. But I say fuck that. I’d rather see a Domino’s ad on one of the millions of fixed potholes around New York instead of watching 100 different Dominos commercials about their 5/5/5 deal during any given NFL Sunday. Being able to drive on the highway without worrying about my tire potentially blowing off will cause me to order Domino’s more than anything in this world. Well except for a Cheesy Bread craving. I’ll pay $100 for Cheesy Bread if I’m fiending it enough. But now Domino’s has my money any time I am in the mood for fast food pizza. If Pizza Hut wants my business, they better figure out a way to fix the national deficit. If that silly son of a bitch Papa John wants my hard earned cash, he better reverse climate change. And if my local pizzerias want my cash, they better just make sure they are open on Friday. Because Friday is always Pizza Friday at the Casa de Clem. Legit pizza too. Not the other stuff. Unless Domino’s starts delivering pizza with this bad boy. Then all bets are off.
