This Couple Having Sex on Top of a Grave Is Just Asking To Be Murdered By Ghosts In The Next Week
A brazen couple who were filmed having sex on a gravestone in broad daylight in a churchyard frequented by children bragged that they did it for 45 minutes. Dog walker Scott Elwood spotted the pair’s antics when he was passing through the Holy Trinity Parish Church in Shaw, Greater Manchester and was so outraged that he decided to film the explicit scenes. The explicit footage sees the woman, believed to be in her 30s, lying on the gravestone as the couple romp away.
Disgusted that the pair didn’t stop their exploits despite seeing him, the 20-year-old heckled them, calling them “scruffy c***s”.
He then shouts: “On a f*****g grave? That’s f*****g wrong that, mate.” Scott passed the footage, which was filmed on 29th May at around 7.30pm, to police but was was appalled when the offending man contacted him to brag about his alfresco antics. The man, believed to be in his 30s, claimed to be ‘not arsed’ and told Scott to ‘get a life and stop perving on people’. He went on to encourage Scott to do the same, telling him to “have some fun in his life and take a risk now and again”, claiming he too would “feel the buzz of being caught”.
There’s being stupid. There’s being “Carrabis stupid.” And then, there’s being “let’s have sex on top of a grave next level brain dead stupid.” Have you not watched one ghost movie in your entire life people? Fucking for 45 minutes on top of someone’s burial grave is the type of shit that starts an entire Mummy movie. I love how the guy filming the video calls them “scruffy cunts.” I really don’t even know what that means, but it’s funny in that accent.
But back to these two idiots, I mean there’s just no way this couple is alive a week from now. You piss off the after life and you know what happens next? You die. You die a horrible death.
I was just randomly talking today about how I sneakily enjoyed the Friday the 13th movie from 2009. It’s got lots of death, lots of sex, lots of random bursts of comedic relief which all make for an enjoyable experience at the cinema for ya boy. Let me tell you what happens when you have sex outdoors. One moment you’re taking your girl from behind even though you’re sweating because it’s humid as fuck outside and you’re not in a comfy bed.
the next you’re stuck in a bear trap while your girl burns alive in a tent
and finally you get a knife through your skull
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I don’t care how spontaneous and daring it may sound to your girlfriend, do not have sex outdoors. You want do it in the kitchen, on the couch, or in the bedroom that’s fine. But if you have sex on top of someone’s grave or in the middle of the woods for that matter, you’re simply asking to die and I have no sympathy for you.
You could also just not have sex, like me, and watch the Yankees instead. To each their own.