Dak Prescott And Ezekiel Elliott Brought Penis Shaped Water Guns To A Nightclub During Their Mini Team Vacation Like A Bunch Of Hilarious Jokesters
TMZ- Ezekiel Elliott and Dak Prescott decided to take their guys trip to Florida to the next level — by buying a bunch of penis squirt guns … and rocking them to the nightclub! Here’s what happened … the Dallas Cowboys stars rolled into Shorty’s Market in Key West, Florida on Friday night — along with several Cowboys offensive linemen — and decided to arm the group with some water wieners.
The Giants can’t catch a fucking break. First the Eagles win a Super Bowl* with what was admittedly the ultimate team. Not a Dream Team full of superstars like the 2011 Eagles that went 8-8. But an assembly of players that fit the scheme and roster perfectly to the point that their backup QB could win a championship after their All World QB went down. The thought of having to deal with a franchise like that for the foreseeable future was daunting to say the least.
But it looks like there is a new sheriff in town (sick pun, Clem). That’s right, the Cowboys are apparently #back. I mean have you ever seen a group of people with penis-shaped things not having a ton of fun? Sure 1000000% of the time it’s a waaaaaaacky bachelorette party where everyone is at least 5 margaritas to the wind making AWFUL dick puns that guys laugh at because they are trying to get with one of the girls in the group. But still, you can’t buy that kind of chemistry. I can only imagine the hijinks that Dak, Zeke, and their offensive linemen played on all those people at the club. What was that spray of water I just felt? Sweat? Spit? Nope, just imaginary piss/cum from a couple of Cowboys being dudes. Hilarious! What will those rascals in Big D do next? Get it, Big D?!? EL OH EL!
On the bright side, I can’t wait for this picture to be meme’d to death the first time the Dak throws a backbreaking interception during a nationally televised game.
*If you don’t get invited to the White House, your Super Bowl title doesn’t count. Everyone knows that. The NFL world championship has officially been declared vacant. Sorry Eagles fans.