Remember The Russian Plane That Dropped A Bunch Of Gold As It Was Flying Yesterday? Well Today Siberians Are Posting Videos Of Themselves Searching For And Finding Treasure In The Snow

Clem3/16/2018 2:14 PM

The Siberian Times- Locals do not believe official claims that the precious metals have been found – and they’re aiming to get rich. The treasures fell from the back of an AN-12 cargo plane flight number 9297 flying from Yakutsk to Krasnoyarsk. It now appears the cargo was not secured properly and pressed on the hatch which gave way.

The company owning the treasure said it had been all recovered – nine tons of gold and silver alloy called doré bars. Yet there is another question too: what happened to the diamonds and platinum originally reported as being in the cargo. And police in Yakutsk reported only 3.5 tons is recovered: so what about the rest?

For now, locals in Yakutia – the coldest region in Russia – believe some of the gold and silver fell in a snow covered swamp. As our video shows, this is where they are hunting as a new gold rush comes to Siberia.

Trusted employees were assigned to collect the gold and silver bars. On their way home, they were forced to go through metal detectors. Police also searched cars. ‘I think all policemen from Yakutsk were there,’ said one witness. ‘There were huge traffic jams. I have not seen anything like this before. ‘Each car was searched for at least 20 minutes. Rumours say that some gold fell elsewhere, not only on the runway.’

#GoBorisGo! In case you missed my blog yesterday, some pilot, who has likely since been murdered by the henchmen of an angry Russian billionaire, dropped a shit ton of gold, platinum, and diamonds out of his plane as it was taking off. I said how every Siberian should leave work immediately and spend the rest of their days looking for buried treasure in the snow like they were one of those old weirdos at the beach with metal detectors. And by the look of the videos above, that’s exactly what they are doing.

Which is why I am happy for Siberians doing whatever they can do to become ex-Siberians. Or at least as happy as I am allowed to be for Russians since I am an American. I feel the same way for these Rooskies as I did for Smitty, Rone, Fran, Lightswitch Lou, and All Biz Pete after the Eagles one. Not happy per se. But as happy as one is allowed to feel for their rivals. Everyone knows how much Siberia stinks. It’s the worst place on Earth. When you talk about banishing somebody, they bring up Siberia as the place you are going to do it too. These Siberians having a chance to strike it rich is like Philly finally winning a Super Bowl. Good for them I guess.

But the fact these Russians are actually posting videos of them finding gold tells me that these people are either fucking morons or the Siberian Times is trying to JMac the world. If there was a video of me finding a gold bar, you better believe I would be screaming my dick off. The fact this guy was cool as a cucumber instead of shouting happy phrases in Russian, which pretty much sounds like a bear that just drank 20 shots of vodka while getting fucked in the ass, tells me this is all a ruse. And if you try to upload a video of you finding money or gold anywhere in the 8 billion miles of Russian land, I’m pretty sure Putin sends a goon to take it from you before that video actually makes it to your YouTube page.

In fact, if you want to get woke about this entire situation, this could all be part of Putin’s plan to get people to willingly go to Siberia. Come for the fake gold from the viral news story, stay for the forced labor camps as the Russians gear up for Cold War 2.0 and/or World War III. Nice try Vlady. But Simple Clem sees right through your plan. You aren’t getting me to fly to Siberia in an attempt to become rich and never slave away on the internet 24/7 looking for bloggable content again.