I'm Gonna Take A Raincheck On These Sushi Donuts

AV Club- Because sushi—the venerated, refined, exquisite tradition of edible still life from the Japanese Edo period—just isn’t good enough, a California restaurant (from the same state that birthed the sushi croissant) has now invented the sushi donut. According to Los Angeles magazine, Project Poke in Fountain Valley, CA pipes in avocado, crab, or tuna mousse into a ring of rice, then elegantly drapes this rice inner tube with sashimi, sesame seeds, and other accoutrements. Let us state, for the record, that this sounds pretty delicious.

What in the name of Tom Selleck am I looking at? Who on God’s green earth would want to eat a sushi donut? The whole aura of sushi is to enjoy every ingredient in every bite. They are cut into tiny bite-size pieces for a reason. I don’t get a sushi roll to take one bite of just rice and sesame seeds, then another bite of just avocado and rice, I want that shit to come together like the Beatles. Please just look at how repulsive that one bite taken from the donut in the top right corner of the picture is. Can’t have a bite with only one third of the ingredients in it. Repulsive.

It’s hard to annoy me when it comes to culinary items, especially if the word donut is involved, but bites of anything without every ingredient are one of my biggest pet peeves. It’s a greek tragedy whenever you spend your hard earned money on a burrito and get only rice in one bite and only your veggies in another. It’s the worst. I could be taking a brussel sprouts and anchovy sandwich to the face and you bet your ass both are going to be needed in the same bite.

Fusion is key and there sure as fuck is no fusion going on in a sushi donut. I preemptively give them 0 Glenny Stars, and will only change my mind if they send some over for me to try.