Soulja Boy is Running For President of the United States

Soulja Boy (Tell'em) had a moment in 2007. He probably had the hottest song in America for a stretch of time. I'm pretty sure Crank That (Soulja Boy) was the first rap dance I can remember white people actually learning. 

Soulja Boy was ahead of time, really. He had a viral TikTok dance a decade before TikTok existed. He would either drop the most popular rap song ever that would be played on the radio incessantly (which he did maybe 3 times?), or a complete flop of a song that never saw the light of day (which I'm thinking he did about 1,000 times).

But 3 out of 1000 isn't bad in the music industry. You can make a career off 3 for 1000. Although... and I'd hate to stereotype... Soulja Boy doesn't strike me as a man who stretches his dollar. He doesn't seem like the most responsible rapper. He's certainly not the most professional. 

Remember when Soulja Boy did a Pizza Review? Back when Dave would wait around 30 minutes in pizza shop while Soulja Boy got high in his car. Except Soulja Boy never really finished getting high in his car, so Dave just did a pizza review with Soulja Boy somewhere in the general vicinity?

That was funny. All things considered, it was probably the best content Soulja Boy could have given Barstool that day. Thanks, Soulja. 

Anyways, that guy has announced his candidacy for President of the United States. He's running on a platform of economic opportunity, criminal justice reform, education, and the future of technology and AI. 

Good platforms, Mr. Tell 'Em. I also think those things should be better. I look forward to hearing your detailed plan for how you'll improve these things. 

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Soulja Boy could be just the change of pace this country needs. A celebrity whose behavior is so unhinged you can't help but wonder if he's mentally challenged to some degree. Oh wait… we already have that, folks. Swish.

Giphy Images.

On a serious note, what I mean to say is that not since Billy Football ran for Congress on the platform of "I want to buy a house" have I been less confident in a candidate. But I do enjoy keeping tabs on what random celebs throw their hats in the political ring.

Of course, we had Kanye West running for president in 2020. Caitlyn Jenner once ran for governor of California. Spencer Pratt of The Hills recently ran for mayor of Los Angeles. Dave Portnoy campaigned for Boston Mayor.

Did you know that Clay Aiken (American Idol runner-up) ran for the U.S. House of Representatives? I just learned that one a minute ago.

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Yet every once in a while you get a celebrity who actually wins. Nobody thought Donald Trump could actually get elected president when he first threw his name in the ring. I was a little too young to pay attention when Arnold Schwarzenegger became Governor of California, but I gotta think people laughed when an Austrian bodybuilder/actor announced he was running. 

Jesse Ventura became governor of Minnesota. Clint Eastwood was elected mayor in Carmel-by-the-Sea, California. Sonny Bobo was a sitting U.S. Representative when he skied into that tree. Trump isn't even the first celebrity to become president. Ronald Reagan was too, and he wasn't even hilarious. 

Nobody is taking Soulja Boy seriously now, but hey… he did perform at the Trump Inagural Ball after all. Maybe Soulja Boy made some important connections that night.

So before we go dismissing Soulja Boy's candidacy as a joke, maybe we shou– lmao I'm just kidding. Soulja Boy isn't a real candidate. I would honestly be impressed if he managed to take the necessary steps to become one. Good luck on the campaign trail Twitch streams, soldier.