Say What You Will About Him, But Nobody Has A Better Pre-Game Analysis For Tonight's MNF Matchup Than Terry Bradshaw

"Terry is too old for TV" this, "Terry always sounds like he's having a stroke" that. All you hear these days is negative criticism of the NFL pre-game shows. About how they are all a bunch of talking heads who provide little to no analysis about any of the games. Everyone is always throwing around salaries and figures, wondering who is tuning into these slop fests before the games kick off. Well Terry Bradshaw just put all you haters in the Walls of Jericho. Checkmate, bitches. Because where else can you get put on a reel like that? He had us all hook, line, and sinker. "WHAT DID HE TEXT ANDY REID?!?!" we all wondered with baited breath. And then the zig of all zags hit us like a thousand bricks. He didn't text Andy Reid a damn thing. He texted his pig salesman. Brilliant.

And now this makes me wonder- who else has Terry been accidentally been texting? Makes me laugh thinking his daughter or a cousin hasn't heard from him in years, but in Terry's head he's been texting with them every single day. But little does he know he's just been texting a waitress from a Denny's in Des Moines that he ordered pancakes from back in '09. He thinks he's been texting with Coach Cowher but he's actually been refinancing his river boat. Lord knows what else Terry does day to day. Let's just hope he's not driving to work....