NEWS FLASH!- Barstool Will Not Last Forever

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I was asked to co-host the Out&About pod last week with my good friend Pat because Joey Camasta is no longer with the firm, and, apparently, I was the second gayest option.

As usual, Patty and I had a long and amusing conversation about a variety of topics, including cocaine and how I feel everyone in Barstool will lose their jobs and die penniless… Or, at least, that's what I've been told I have said.

Here's the clip…

A few days later, my comments were brought up on Kevin's show, and Feits pointed out that some people thought my comments might have been directed at a particular individual at Barstool or perhaps a group of coworkers…

So, just to set the record straight, if anyone out there heard my comments and thought to themselves afterwards, "I bet Large was referring to (insert name here)," I just want to say that you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT.

Everyone who is currently working at Barstool will not finish their careers here.

Perhaps that's harsh to hear, but I don't mean to be harsh. Very few people start and end their careers doing the same job for the same company, and the nature of the company I proudly work for today (and others like it) is not one that screams "I'M GOING TO BE AROUND FOREVER!"

As you heard in the first clip, thirty years ago, when I was 23 years old, I was absolutely convinced that I would end my career as a specialist on the American Stock Exchange… And now, that same American Stock Exchange, which was established in fucking 1917, no longer exists (or at least not in the form it had existed as up until 2008 when NYSE Euronext acquired it). 

So I pivoted, and it worked out.

When I went to the Big Board, I thought there was a chance I'd be brought out on a badge and retire as an NYSE broker. That didn't happen.

So I pivoted, and it worked out.

Then I went "upstairs" and was a position trader for Robinson Humphrey, then Citigroup, then ICAP, and then Canaccord Genuity before that biz started to go away.

So I pivoted to Barstool, and it seems to be working out.

And now I am in a familiar position… I absolutely LOVE working here, and every time I talk to Dave about contracts, I say the same thing- "Dave, you look very handsome today, and I love it here, so I'd like to stay for as long as I can while extracting as much money as possible from you." 

But even at 53, I know this is probably not the last stop on the dilapidated train I have called a career, and you'll inevitably see a 60-year-old me near the exit of your local Home Depot, making sure nobody is taking advantage of the self-checkout.

And here's another thing… What I said on Pat's show was nothing earth-shattering to any of my coworkers. I went on Fishbowl the day after, and the ladies who graciously invited me on all knew that things would eventually change. Then I had Marty Mush on an episode of YOU GOTTA TRY THIS yesterday, and he said the same thing.

I just decided to say it out loud.

Contrary to popular belief, the talented men and women with whom I work at Barstool are all well aware that they will inevitably be working somewhere else before they die. And they also know the chances of ANOTHER eccentric multi-millionaire paying for them (me included in that "them") to watch games and hang out with celebs after Dave rides off into a well-deserved sunset on the back of a recently purchased racehorse are very, very, very, VERY slim.

So they will ALL pivot, and it will ALL work out.

Except maybe for Feits.

I just watched the KFC clip back, and the fact that he asked, "Am I the only one who doesn't think about the future?" concerns the shit out of me.

That mother-fucker is the happiest guy I know, and I am a well-publicized fan of his "jib"…

… but he's gotta start thinking a little bit into the future.

We all want to live our lives "a quarter mile at a time," but look how well that worked out for Paul Walker.

RIP #family

At some point, Feitelberg Junior will need braces the same week the future Mrs. Feitelberg wraps the minivan around a tree. So that thick-wristed bastard better start looking more than a weekend away.

Outside of that beautiful unicorn, people would be pleasantly surprised (or perhaps utterly disappointed because the internet runs on hate) at just how prepared the people around me on both the content and production sides are for the next phase of their professional lives.

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I just happened to say the tough stuff out loud and did it in my naturally denigrating tone.

Let's put a fucking bow on this… 

Dear Dave,

If you are reading this and you take anything away from it, know that everyone is extremely grateful and equally terrified of this company's ultimate fate—just like I was terrified of leaving two stock exchanges and a handful of brokerages.

In the meantime, if you need to make some personnel cuts to keep this train running and/or rocket ascending, you should fire Feits. And I know at least one of my coworkers would probably second that motion.

Take a report.

-Large

Wanna know how great this gig is?

I spent 25 years getting up at 4:50 AM every day and trading until there was a LOT of blood in my stool and very little hair on my head.

And now, this is what I accomplished this week with the help of multiple producers—all of it sponsored.

I chatted with one of NASCAR's Champion 4 drivers, and we called the new guy from New Zealand a spy…

I had the future of boxing, Boots Ennis, casually stop by HQ and shoot the shit about how he's going to clear out the supe-welterweight division…

I sat down with Vibbs and my wife and talked for hours about the Twisted History of Whores because I like talking about whores…

And then I had a three-hour chat with the man who convinced me to try foods I would've never tried before he and Bourdain showed up in my life…

And then tomorrow, I fly to Boulder for a grand total of 15 hours to have some drinks and watch football with Spider and a bunch of liberal co-eds…

I'm EXTREMELY fortunate to be able to do it… I am EXTREMELY thankful that Kevin brought me in 7 years ago… I am EXTREMELY grateful that Dave has let me stay… And I never want this shit to end.

But when it does, Home Depot already has my application on file.

TAR

-L