Belichick Says There's 'Zero Truth' to Reports He Wants Out of UNC, Everything's Going Great, and the Hulu Documentary is 'Still a Work in Progress'
I've been saying it since probably November of 2001, when Bill Belichick gave his legendary press conference declaring Tom Brady was starting the Week 11 game over a now-medically cleared Drew Bledsoe. That was the one where he was asked if he'd done any "polling" to get anyone else's opinion, and he actually turned the ridiculous question into a riff. "Oh, we poll the coaches. We're gonna poll the fans. We're gonna poll the fourth graders. The barbers. We're gonna poll everybody!" Which established for me something he confirmed time and time again over the course of 24 impossibly successful years as Patriots head coach. Which was that, for all his many talents, his greatest genius was his ability to take all the energy out of a controversy.
Which is a skill he needs right now more than at any time in his career save for maybe Spygate or the "Mona Lisa Vito" press conference before the Super Bowl in 2015. Because his career is sitting right in the target zone at Ground Zero, and the engine of the Enola Gay can be heard coming over the mountains. So coming out North Carolina's bye week with a press conference that, as you can see from that clip above, boiled down to one message:
But it was longer than that. Much quieter. A lot less Oscar Nomination-worthy. (And with 100% less full frontal from Margot Robbie.) Here are a few of the bullet points:
Source - There were multiple reports of locker room culture issues within the program. What do you have to say about those claims?
“I’m with all these people every day, coaches, players on the field. Our guys work hard. They have a great attitude, great energy. And we’ve shown a lot of improvement. We’ve made a lot of improvements. I think that’s exciting for all of us to see, certainly for the individual players to see it, in the units that they work with. So I don’t know what kind of perspective some of those people have that are saying that, but I think anybody that’s around it on a daily basis would see that. I’m sure the players all see the improvement they’re making as does this coaching staff.” …
What is your vision for the program right now? Is it rebuilding?
“Yeah, again, where we are right now is where we are, and we’re working hard every day to get better, and we’re getting better. Obviously, there are other components to it, in terms of recruiting and so forth, that will all come into play later. But right now, our team is committed to having its best week of practice, going out there and playing well against Cal. And we’re 2-3, and we’re trying to get back on track, and that’s what we’re working to do.”
What measures are you taking to ensure the team remains united despite all the distractions?
“What I see out there every day is guys ready to practice, practicing hard, preparing well and getting better. I think the team is obviously we’re all a little frustrated with the results, but the only thing we can do is continue to work and improve, and that’s what we’re doing."
I say again, genius. He's standing in the middle of a farmhouse. The zombie horde has the building surrounded in a mob 20 ghouls deep. They're crashing through the windows and doors. They're coming to eat his giant brain. His weapons are useless against the undead. And the building is on fire. But he still standing there calmly discussing working hard to get better, practice and preparation, like it's 2004 and he's in the middle of a 14-2 season. He's using the same monotone, unemotional, coachspeak he perfected a generation ago to take all the air out of the room.
But it did include this wild question. One that, if a reporter had come after him like this in the media room at One Patriots Place, he'd have reduced the guy to ashes with laser beams from his eyes. But here, he just kills the guy with dullness, like it's a superpower. Cued up to the 4:30 mark:
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Last game it was 28-3 in the 1st quarter. People were clearing out at halftime. UNC has gone from a perennial bowl contender to statistically one of the worst teams in college football. People in this building are upset, fans are upset. You’re telling me that you believe this process is working?
“100 percent, absolutely. It’s a learning curve. We’re all in it together, but we’re making a lot of progress. And you know, the process will eventually produce the results we want to produce, like they have everywhere else I’ve been. So I’m very confident in that players are working hard, they’re getting better, and we’re going to continue to do that and improve.”
So everything great. It's a learning curve. Things take time. The process is ongoing. Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design. Your friends up there on the sanctuary moon are walking into a trap, as is your Rebel fleet. It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band, etc.
All that talk about a roster divided between the holdovers from UNC's bowl team last year and the 70 recruits he and Michael Lombardi brought in is a big fat lie. The reports that Lombardi has alienated everyone are just anonymous sources and therefore don't count. He didn't have enough bodies when he got here, he was hired too late to take advantage of the first transfer portal so he filled the roster with what he could get out of the second. But everyone's working hard and the future on Chapel Hill is bright.
One might argue that it's not bright enough to give us a look behind the scenes like we were promised. But he explained that too:
Who scrapped the Hulu series documentary and why?
“It’s still a work in progress, and we’re working through a few logistics on it. So no real update at this time. But there will be something.”
So there you have it. There's some logistics to work out, but there will be something. I'm assuming we'll get something once Belichick is satisfied the series won't be documenting the inglorious demise of the greatest coaching career in the history of tackle football. But there will be something.
Whether or not he can coach in college or build a winning program, remains to be seen. In Belichick's own words, that's a work in progress. But two things we can take away from this is he's going to continue to work on that progress. And that a year away from coaching didn't cost him any of his press conference skills.
The rest of this season is going to be fascinating to behold.