A Woman Held Up An Entire Flight From Deplaning Because She Demanded Her Daughter, Seated In The Back, Be Let Off The Plane With Her

Make no mistake, when it comes to attempting to tame the savages flying the friendly skies nowadays, I take a backseat to no one. (Pun intended). 

Every great revolution starts with one brave soul who’s had enough. For Scotland, it was William Wallace. For air travel, it’s me- your friendly smut blogger/former dj/bar owner who’s sick of watching humanity lose its dignity the moment “Now boarding all zones” hits the pa system.

Every flight is the fucking same story. A group of allegedly civilized adults instantly devolves into a pack of raccoons fighting over the last garbage bag. We’ve introduced Wi-Fi, AI, and oat milk lattes to 35,000 feet in the sky- but we still can’t figure out how to line up and wait our turn. It's fucking bonkers. 

I fly like once a week so I see the worst of the worst society has to offer on a pretty regular basis. 

I have been banging this fucking drum for an eternity.

The seatbelt sign goes ding, and suddenly half the plane forgets basic human decency. We’ve all seen them- the guy in Row 32 sprinting past everyone because “he’s got a tight connection.” The lady reaching for her bag six rows ahead, using strangers’ heads as leverage. And of course, the standers- the ones who leap up the second the plane lands, hunched like gremlins for 20 straight minutes while the door’s still closed.

Having said all that, let's break down what happened here.

First off, those lawn charis, I mean seats, are a dead giveaway that this was a Frontier Airlines flight- 

So right there we know we're dealing with Megabus clientele. 

You can't really be that surprised by the situation we're dealing with here when you consider that. The saying "you get what you pay for" is a cliche for a reason. You can't fly from Miami to Bmore for $79 and expect to be rubbing elbows with Mensa members. 

Don't believe me?

Your honor, I'd like to introduce to the court, exhibit A:

Advertisement

So here's where I throw you a big curveball.

I actually side with the lady holding up this line in this. 

Yes. Her right there. 

BUT HEAR ME OUT.

It's not because she's in the right. It's because everybody else involved is an even bigger moron than she is.

Yes, it is quite obvious that simply standing aside, inside her aisle, and allowing the rest of the plane's rows to deboard in front of her before the child she was waiting for got up to where she was at was the logical thing to do here. But clearly we abandoned all logic as a society a long time ago. 

The first person I want to call out is the flight attendant. 

Hey lady. Isn't it your job to give instructions to everybody not in uniform aboard the plane? Why didn't you just tell this lady to step inside the aisle and you'd make sure her kid or whoever got up to her asap? Some people have never flown on an airplane before and have no idea how procedure goes. She might have been afraid of getting split up from the kid once she exited the plane. Or something. Intervene sooner before people kill each other.

Advertisement

Speaking of killing each other. Next up is these handsome ladies. 

Instead of expending all that energy hootin and hollerin, all you had to do was stay in your seat, tell all the idiots behind you crowding the aisle to sit back down, or be helpful and help let the little girl up, and be on your way. Instead you escalated the situation by insulting the lady in front of a big group of people and nothing gets accomplished. Sheesh.

Next up is Mr. Neckpillow. Look at this beaut.

Why are you just standing there? Sit back down, or say something. Don't just stand there like a momo clogging up the aisle.