DUDES ROCK: Guy Rips Continuous Fart For 40 Seconds On A Talent Show Audition And Possibly Just Set An Incredible Guinness World Record
A 40 second fart? A new world record? DREAMS DO COME TRUE!
...Or do they?
Look I don't want to be the turd in the punchbowl here but unfortunately after researching this recent "world record" event, it seems this clip is actually fake news. The fart is certainly real, but it isn't even close to the all-time record. Incredible? Yes. Disgusting? Definitely. But sadly all his efforts are sheer folly now.
Because the real world record holder is allegedly some British bloke named Bernard Clemmens. Back on May 17, 2016 he ripped a hot steamy one for 2 minutes and 48 seconds! Not much information around it other than this blurb though.
"Bernard also spent over an hour in a hyperbaric chamber to reduce the injurious effects of systemic gas bubbles by physically reducing their size and providing improved conditions for the elimination of bubbles and excess dissolved gas that had accumulated in his system while preparing himself for this awesome feat"
And not so fast my friends, because there's also a worthy volley from "Mr. Methane" floating around out there as well.
What's up with all these British people trying to fart their brains out?
Small hands, smells like cabbage.
But as far as I can tell, The Guinness World Records don't acknowledge any of these achievements as real or noteworthy. They're quite literally just hot poofs of air, crop dusting in the wind, for no reason at all. Could be worse I guess? The world needs ditch diggers too.
I'll still salute to these gladiators of flatulence, as farts are always funny. Also don't think I've ever crossed the 5 second mark personally, so it is pretty wild to see just how far the human body go. This does have me wondering why there isn't a bonafide worldwide competition for this niche already? Maybe we can create that for next year. We clearly already have the #1 farting farm system in sports media. Suck on them rancid apples ESPN!