The Philadelphia Phillies Miraculously Found A Way To Lose A Baseball Game After Striking Out Shohei Ohtani 4 Times

Hunter Martin. Getty Images.

Shohei Ohtani is the best player in baseball, and the Phillies had him looking completely lost out there. Struck his ass out not once, not twice, not thrice, but 4 straight times. Back-to-back strikeouts where the poor boy was just stuck there looking at the ball with his bat on his shoulder. 

If you were to tell anyone on planet Earth that the Phillies struck out Ohtani 4 times tonight, the immediate question they would ask would be "so how much did the Phillies win by?". 

But this fucking team, man. This godforsaken piece of shit baseball team. Year after year, playoff series after playoff series, it's the same damn thing. Trea Turner doesn't give you a goddamn thing. Kyle Schwarber doesn't give you a goddamn thing. Bryce Harper eventually got himself on base, but it was all for nothing. 

The top of the order, for all intents and purposes, was silent. The bullpen couldn't hold it together after Christopher Sanchez gave you damn near a perfect 6 innings. Big moments came up for guys like Bryson Stott and Nick Castellanos to prove their worth, and they both shit the bed with a ferocious intensity. Everything that has plagued the Phillies in playoff losses before came right back up to bite them in the ass again tonight. It was the most cliché Phillies playoff loss you could ever draw up.

Sure, there could still be 4 more games left to be played in this series. But it's the same team that came up short in 2022. It's the same team that came up short in 2023. It's the same team that was miserably disappointing in 2024. But hey, at least Kyle Schwarber hit a shit ton of home runs during the regular season this time around! 

@JordieBarstool