The Dolphins Have Entered the 'Players-Only Meeting' Phase of Their Implosion

There are few things in this life that are certain. Everything in the lives of humans are fraught with some degree of doubt. But one thing that is as close to a guarantee as possible is the failure of the "Players-Only Meeting." It's a practice that has failed every time it's been tried. 

Not that meetings involving players and coaches both are any more successful. As the legendary Earl Weaver famously said, "What if we have a team meeting and we lose? What do I do then?" His idea was to focus more on putting in the work to improve the pitching, hitting, base-running and defense than sitting around jibber-jabbering. You might as well just try some two-bit carny hypnotist like the NY Knights did:

But still, and despite the fact it never works, desperate teams call for desperate measures:

And as we learned just one week into the 2025 season, the Miami Dolphins are very desperate:

Athlon Sports - The 33-8 final in Indy’s favor did not completely reflect how out of hand the game could have been. …

The Colts could have scored more, if only they had more opportunities. As it was, the Dolphins became the first team in the NFL in at least 47 years (since 1978) to allow scores on every opponent drive. It was good for Mike McDaniel’s team that the Colts only had seven drives. …

The Dolphins’ offense was similarly beleaguered, as quarterback Tua Tagovailoa completed 14 of 23 passes for 114 yards, one touchdown, two interceptions, and a passer rating of 51.7. And it’s not like Tagovailoa was taking chances downfield. It continued one of the NFL’s great dichotomies — how can the Dolphins have a quarterback this incapable of throwing deep consistently, when they also have the best deep receiver of his generation in Tyreek Hill, not to mention 2021 first-round pick Jaylen Waddle, and free-agent acquisition Nick Westbrook-Ikhine? Three great deep receivers and no great deep passing quarterback is a recipe for frustration.

Desperate enough to do what loser, panicky teams in crisis do best:

Source -  After the [Colts] game,[Tua Tagovailoa] said he was looking forward to seeing which of his teammates showed up Tuesday to watch film. He told reporters Wednesday that he was happy with the turnout.

"I got the offense together, and we had a meeting about things that we wanted to do to hang our hats on this week, points of emphasis, and how we want to go about it this week," he said Wednesday. "We got all of that communicated to those guys, so that's what we've got." …

Linebacker Jordyn Brooks said Tuesday's meeting was a way to keep things from getting out of hand after a potentially demoralizing loss.

"Losing the way we did can be discouraging. Outside noise -- people talking, family talking, everybody talking," he said. "[The meeting was] just kind of making sure that everybody's together. When you lose like that, it's easy for people to get discouraged, start looking, questioning maybe yourself or others. So making sure that we all locked back in, making sure that the belief is still there."

That's a bold strategy, Dolphins. Get together and hold a nice organized struggle session. An airing of grievances. Sit around on the floor pretzel-legged and discuss your feelings. Bare your souls. Try to increase your Emotional IQs. Maybe do what the guys on The Bachelorette do and talk about how good it feels to be … totally vulnerable. Perhaps a psychologist could come in, match you up with partners, and do some Trust Falls. And assure everyone that this is a No Judgment Zone, so feel free to be opening and honest with your feelings. Because what happens in the Players-Only Meeting, stays in the Players-Only Meeting. Possibly you could do a few team-building exercises. Except that's what minicamp, OTAs and six weeks of training camp are supposed to be for. 

But hey, who knows? Maybe this time, things will be different. And all those other Players-Only Meetings by all those other imploding teams in all those other sports were anomalies, and this time things'll work out swell. Or … "people talking, family talking, everybody talking" is just the result of the fact the franchise has been in a death spiral going all the way back to last year and had one of the worst performances of all time Sunday. I know what assessment is.

OK, Patriots. This is a team in obvious crisis. The kind your franchise use to swallow whole for the better part of 20 years. If there's any hope for turning your own fortunes around this season, it better start this weekend. Don't make a liar out a blogger who's been carrying your water all this time and finish these guys.