It's a Burning Man Miracle – Woman Gave Birth to a Surprise Baby While Attending Burning Man Festival

USA Today – The youngest Burner ever made an exodus from the playa that will go down as one of the most talked-about.

A newborn baby girl left Burning Man by helicopter to the Renown Regional Medical Center in Reno, Nevada on Aug. 27, according to Royal Ambulance, the official medical provider for the annual cultural spectacle.

Baby Aurora was a surprise to her parents, both in their 30s and from Salt Lake City, the newborn's aunt Lacey Paxman wrote on a GoFundMe page set to help with the unexpected medical and baby expenses.

The mother Kayla Thompson and the baby, who weighed 3 pounds, 9.6 oz. and was 16.5 inches long, will stay in the NICU until she is strong enough to be welcomed home, the GoFundMe page states.

God struck down Burning Man's Orgy Dome, and 7 days later delivered a blessed newborn child. A child born of sand, hallucinogenic drugs, and more sand. I don't necessarily think this surprise baby is a message sent down from the heavens above to represent... idk something deep and meaningful. But I'm willing to bet some people at Burning Man had ingested more than enough mind-altering substances for "Citizen Zero" to mean something extraordinarily profound to them.

Is that baby safe? I'm not talking about health-wise, due to the fact that the baby was born without the mother even knowing she was pregnant. The baby girl was born 3-pounds, 9-ounces, and according to USA Today is currently in the NICU. But from what I'm reading, the baby is expected to be ok. My sincerest thoughts and prayers go out to the baby and her parents. But I'm asking, "Is the baby safe?" in the sense of, "Do any of the Burning Man festival goers who witnessed this miracle think the baby is God?"

I know next to nothing about Burning Man other than what I've learned from jokes on the internet. But based on the jokes, I'm inclined to think that some Burning Man attendees might witness the birth of a surprise Burning Man baby and come to the conclusion that she is some sort of prophet. And if these folks believe your baby is a prophet sent down from heaven to deliver Burning Man from sandstorms...

HECTOR MATA. Getty Images.

I'm just saying… we might want to keep an especially close eye on that baby. Maybe see if the hospital can double their security outside of the NICU. I have to believe there's somebody out there who thinks this baby has a "greater purpose". There's no telling designs these people might have for Citizen Zero. 

Sorry, Burning Man. I'm only kidding. I mean no disrespect. It's not fair of me to judge Burning Man solely based on internet slander. And I should say, good for the people of Burning Man who have raised over $15K to help with the family's medical expenses.

Jokes aside, having a surprise baby has got to be one of the most nerve-racking and insanely overwhelming experiences in the world. That being said, if the parents are responsible, and the baby turns out to be happy and healthy… having a surprise baby could turn out to be best case scenario. You just got to skip all the trials and tribulations of a strenuous nine-month pregnancy. You don't even have to stop drinking (I mean, you should have… but you know what I mean). 

I'm sure it's kind of a bummer to miss out on some of the classic pregnancy traditions. Like making the celebratory "WE'RE PREGNANT!!!" announcement. Setting half of California on fire with a gender reveal. Picking out adorable Burning Man maternity outfits. 

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But a feature length pregnancy can be a stressful, painful, and extremely anxiety ridden stretch of time. If you gave people the option, and could guarantee the health of the baby, I'm sure there are SO MANY people who would willingly sign up for a surprise baby situation. 

However, if there's one place on all of Earth (or at least in the United States) where you WOULD LEAST want to have a surprise baby… Burning Man might rank #1 on the list. The couple who had their surprise baby agree.

"Had I known, that's absolutely the last place on this planet I would have been," father Kasey Thompson told the Los Angeles Times.

Thankfully they were able to make a brisk helicopter exit and get themselves to a hospital fairly quickly. But we've all seen the videos of when Burning Man goes wrong. If your surprise baby comes at a time like this…

Or when you're balls deep in the grossest traffic jam of all-time….

Between the apocalyptic sandstorms, the muddy 8-hour traffic jam, and the literal murder investigation that's happening right now…

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The press out of Burning Man has been so bad the last few years that it's actually starting to have the reverse effect on me. It's actually making me want to go. I've become morbidly curious. I gotta see this thing for myself. Considering tens of thousands of people still attend Burning Man every year despite the sand, the traffic, the sexual assault, and the murder… there HAS to be something fun about it, right? I am a little interested in the whole "barter system" thing they got going on. 

Alright, hat guy. You've sold me with your, "The dust as actually good for you", and "We don't use money except there's one guy who hands out money" sales pitch. I can't wait to show up to Burning Man with my van full of mangos and demand all the best drugs in exchange for them. Maybe the wife and I will make the trip to Black Rock City next year. Maybe we'll get a surprise kid out of it.