Somebody Has To Have The Courage To Say It: A 15-Minute Standing Ovation Is Just Ridiculously Too Long
Come on, man. What are we even doing here?
I don't care how pretentious or performative you are. Even the worst person you know would tell you that a 15-minute standing ovation is at least 10 minutes too long. 15 minutes of clapping is borderline criminal. We're talking about an entire quarter of NFL football. It would be like if you were throwing some chicken tenders in the air fryer, and then proceeding to clap the whole damn time it takes for them to cook. Do you have any idea how crazy you'd look if you were standing there clapping in front of your air fryer for 15 minutes? People would think that you're an insane person.
And that has to be the answer. This has to be a mental illness. It's the only reasonable explanation for how something like this could happen. That you'd have an entire room full of people giving a 15-minute standing ovation, and not a single person thought to tell everyone to cut it out and sit the fuck down.
Either all of these people are crazy, or the movie is really that good that it makes you want to stand there and clap for 15 minutes straight like a psychopath. Which makes me really nervous to watch "The Smashing Machine". Because while I think it's gotta be everybody there being an insane person, that's just not a risk I'm willing to take. I'm far from the busiest person in the world, but I can't afford to waste 15 minutes of my life clapping. Clean it up.