Power Rankings: Best College Teams In Florida After Week 1

I can’t explain it, but everyone can feel it. The first week of football just feels different. In a way, it almost feels fake. It’s like you have to rub your eyes and ask the person next to you to pinch you just to make sure you’re not dreaming. Now, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know ball. I don’t. But what I do know is the state of Florida. And as someone who attended four different Florida colleges (Florida State, FAU, UCF, and Florida), no one is more qualified to rank these schools than me.

6. FAU (FAU 7 – Maryland 39)

(I LITERALLY CAN'T EVEN FIND A PICTURE FOR THIS FUCKING TEAM)

FAU’s performance reminded me of their nightlife: nonexistent. When I transferred from FSU back home to FAU, I realized immediately that I made a huge mistake. Kind of like how the FAU athletic director realized it was a terrible idea to schedule Maryland in Week 1. FAU is usually the team you call when you want to get pummeled by Ohio State, but a 39-7 loss to Maryland? Unacceptable. Especially for the only college team in Broward. Pathetic showing from the Owls.

5. UCF (UCF 17 – Jacksonville State 10)

No sugarcoating it—UCF is dog shit right now. What happened to Orlando’s finest? This used to be one of the most entertaining, explosive teams in the country. Now they’re tied 3-3 with Jacksonville State heading into the fourth quarter. UCF hasn’t looked this bad since they closed Stag. Sure, they got the win, but if you’re a student at UCF, you might as well start pregaming like the games don’t matter if this keeps up.

4. USF (USF 34 – Boise State 7)

This is the one school I didn’t attend, but I did meet Jon Gruden here for the first time at a 7-on-7 camp, so I guess that counts as a tie. USF is a fucking wagon—and that wagon has a name: Byrum Brown. The dude’s a beast. As a Gator fan, I think giving him 17.5 points next week is insane.

3. FSU (FSU 31 – Alabama 17)

Congrats to Florida State for beating the worst Alabama team of the last 20 years. People get too caught up in the name of the opponent instead of the actual state of the program. Alabama just isn’t what they used to be, and it was pretty obvious this was more about Bama being bad than FSU being good. Still, after a two-win season last year, it’s gotta feel damn good to open with a win in Week 1.

2. Miami (Miami 27 – Notre Dame 24)

Again, we’ve gotta stop putting so much stock into Week 1 opponents. Yeah, Notre Dame was in the national championship last year, but that doesn’t mean this year’s team is the same. For all we know, Notre Dame could turn into last year’s Florida State—going from 13-0 to 2-11. That said, a Week 1 win at home is still huge for Miami, even if they’ll probably blow the ACC later this season.

1. Florida (Florida 55 – LIU 0)

There’s only one right answer for who had the most impressive performance in Florida after Week 1 the Florida Gators. We scored the most points and shut them out. It was literally a perfect game. Miami and FSU combined to win by 17 points. We won by 55 and gave up 0. How can anyone say those teams are better than us? Plus, we had the best catch of the week—and it’s not even close.

All in all, it was a great Week 1 for the state of Florida. Hopefully, they all keep winning so when they finally face each other, the games actually matter. That’s all. See you next week.