Dumping Them Out: Labor Day College Football Special

9/01/2025 11:20 PM

Welcome back to a special College Football Week 1 Labor Day episode of Dumping Them Out. I might start doing a college football theme for Dumping Them Out every weekend. Just to throw in a bunch of stupid college football things that don't really count as stories, but could serve as entertainment between Boob GIFs.

Ryan Day's nipples are NOT pierced. This was a photoshop. Also, his beard is NOT dyed.

This is the second time in three years the Oregon Duck's head has fallen off in the midst of their pre-game entrance festivities. Is the mascot head too big? Are his big webbed feet conducive to tripping, which puts the Oregon Duck mascot in more head-falling-off positions? Or is the Oregon staging moments where their mascot's head falls off because it makes for a viral internet moment, and a silly follow-up post?

Do you think there's any point during Clemson's pre-game, when they're on their shoulder-to-shoulder, 10-minutes before kickoff bus ride from the locker room to the east end zone… all so they can follow their weird head coach sprinting down a hill… do you think any of them ever think, "God this is fucking stupid?"

I mean, this has gotta be a pain in the ass to some degree.

Imagine getting shit talked in the off-season by a quarterback who couldn't cut it at Boston College, then the quarterback who couldn't cut it at Boston College beats you handily in Week 1. And imagine that you're also Alabama.

I keep seeing people talk about Archie Manning's "Manning Face". How when he has bad moments, he's going to have a LEGENDARY MANNING FACE. What the hell are you guys talking about? Archie Manning has the most regular, nondescript, totally normal face I've ever seen. You would never dream of commenting on his face if his last name wasn't Manning. I mean… yeah it is by definition a "Manning Face". And maybe he has the potential to make a "Manning Face" sometime in the future. But this weekend people just sat in front of their TV waiting for ANY shot of Archie Manning on the bench so they could get their Manning Face joke off. This is not it.

Shoutout to New Mexico. They did everything the causal college football viewer could ask of the New Mexico Lobos on the road Michigan Stadium. Got an easy cover (thanks for that, didn't once have to sweat). They ran a cool trick play. And they had one player do a hilarious sprint in the opposite direction of after picking a fight.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't worried tha my alma mater Bowling Green Falcons are going to run Pudge The Cat into the ground. I love Pudge The Cat. Bowling Green is the exact type of school that could use a Pudge The Cat. Pudge The Cat has been on both Good Morning America, and CNN.

But if we start losing… we're really setting oursleves up for something…

Congratulations are in order for this happy couple who engaged themselves at the Duke's Mayo Classic this weekend. People LOVE to hate on sporting event engagements. But women come from all walks of life in this world. Sure, my wife would have projectile vomited and sprayed me with mace had I proposed to her at a sporting event. But some WAGS enjoy ball. Some women find college students guzzling mayonnaise in the stands of a Week 1, Sun Belt vs American Conference matchup at Bank of America Stadium to be quite the romantic setting.

Shoutout to my co-worker Jerry Thornton. He got a camera on him in the stands at Michigan State and he made the most of it.

Georgia Tech's punt returner wore a big jersey on Friday. I can't express to you enough how much I despise the people who responded to the big jersey jokes with, "Hey you fucking idiots. Player's can't wear the same number as someone else on the field. Obviously the punt returned had to change his jersey to avoid that."

Life in prison for Jerm. "Apparently you don't know fucking ball. That is a totally normal and regular and not at all notable thing that happened". No it's not dude. You know it's not. You know that rule doesn't explain why Georgia Tech's emergency slip on jersey is a squirrel suit. What type of weird ball knowing chip must you have on your shoulder that compels you to use that opportunity to prove how much smarter you are than everyone else? You are why Twitter sucks now. "Apparently yall don't watch college football." Go play in traffic.

Shoutout Lee Corso for going undefeated on his picks in his final College Gameday. I did ZERO recon to check if this graphic is true. But I don't think @RedditCFB would lie to me. And I want to believe it. Thank you Lee Corso. It's hard to imagine watching College Gameday without you. I haven't actually watched it since I was in high school. But I even more can't imagine watching it now you're officially gone.