Watch: Sabrina Carpenter Rocks Lace Lingerie And Dances On A Stripper Pole In A Cornfield For Her New Music Video "Tears"

Hate to be the bearer of bad news but this Sabrina Carpenter blog is likely gonna be light on words. I'm still stuck at the NJ Beach House following around Uncle Dante this weekend. What a blessing it is to be inside the aura of a true blue maniac. God bless Unc. 

And the power of Tommy Blondes. 

But let's stay on task here, I don't have a lot of time before Unc sprints off into Bolivian. 

The pop charts are dripping with views thanks to Sabrina releasing her new album this week, along with a juicy music video too. Here's a brief recap of her concert tour experience from last year, for reference. 

Apparently she's one of the horniest people on planet earth? Alrighty then!

And she always goes all out for her album premieres too. Although this new one, "Man's Best Friend" is getting some backlash. Can't see why though? 

I think it's a very touching tribute to Spinal Tap. It's a rather lurid cover. 

“Y’all need to get out more, I think. I was actually shocked because between me, my friends, family and the people I always share my music and art with first, it just wasn’t even a conversation. It was just like, it’s perfect for what the album is [and] what it represents. Everything about it to me just felt like so opposite of like the world ending. […] At that point, [people] hadn’t heard the project. They don’t know me, they don’t know my intentions. They don’t know the stories I’m telling. I try to take it with a grain of salt and also know that my fans that know me, and know the person behind the music, look at that photo and they know exactly what it is. And people that don’t know who I am absolutely look at that photo and go like, ‘Where are her parents?’… my parents actually saw the photo and they loved it!”

What's all the fuss is about? Are we really against hot chicks willingly smelling the glove in the year of our Lord 2025? GROW UP PETER PAN! COUNT CHOCULA. 

I really don't see the big deal. Plus Ms. Carpenter has already proven she knows how to make a great cover, the evidence is all around us. Have respect idiots. 

And of course she's no slouch when it comes to premiering music videos either, which is our main event here. Simply put, the content she created for her song "Tears" is nothing short of a masterclass. 

No notes. Just pure bliss. 

You know something is good when you feel obligated to embed both the GIF & video version of the same clip. Quite possibly the longest 2 seconds of all-time. Didn't know The Field Of Dreams had it like that. But I see the vision. Also not every day you get a song glorifying the power of pussy juice streaming down your leg. That's pretty neat! #Empowerment

Fuck the haters Sabrina. I say keep doing your thing, YOUR way. It's definitely working. No arguments here. If anything, being short & horny 24/7 should be celebrated more. 

I'll certainly work on spreading that gospel if I survive being Unc's shadow on the shore. Least I can do for a good cause. Stay sexy out there everybody. Enjoy your football scores.