I've Had A Night To Sleep On It, And Ya Know What? Fuck The Green Bay Packers

John Fisher. Getty Images.

TO START: 

FUCK THE PACKERS FOREVER AND ALWAYS

Glad we cleared that up. 

Last night the Cowboys dealt stud edge rusher Micah Parsons to the Packers: 

Needless to say, there are plenty of Bears fans melting down:

And I gotta say, I get it. This hurts for two (and probably a lot more) reasons: 

1. The Bears need edge depth outside of Sweat and were rumored to be in on Parsons themselves 

2. We think the Bears still have a hole located on Caleb Williams blind side at LT in spite of Poles sinking draft + FA capital + trades into the OL 

So yeah. This trade fucking sucks from that perspective. Sure, the Packers are investing $47MM a year (!!!) into an edge and are going to have to get REALLY creative to make the cap work in coming years, but for the 2025-26 seasons, this sucks. No ifs, ands or buts about it. 

HOWEVER - 

I choose to look at this trade from a glass half full perspective, and for a few different reasons on top of the Packers putt: 

1. Ben Johnson is an offensive savant who can scheme around Parsons to some extent

2. The Packers got worse up the middle by including DT Kenny Clark in the deal 

3. We still don't know if Jordan Love is a stud yet either. 

4. Braxton Jones is in a prove it year 

Let me elaborate on points 3 and 4. One of the concerns Bears fans have rightfully had with Poles potentially trading for Parsons was sinking a TON of draft + financial capital into the "now" when we ourselves aren't completely sold on Caleb yet. I, personally, am sold on him, but I can also look at the situation rationally and understand why people aren't quite yet. He definitely needs to show a LOT of improvement from last year. 

But are we completely sure about Jordan Love? I'm not. I spent around 25 years of my life getting completely tea bagged by Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers and Jordan Love doesn't come CLOSE to striking the same fear in me when he walks out of the tunnel on game day, and that's before I even talk about his completely MID receiving core: 

Yeah. Not scary. Not at all. The Packers better hope for their sake that Love has the ability to turn a pile of shit into something decent. He has the tools, sure. We'll see if he has the moxy. HUGE year for him too, even if he's already gotten paid. 

And then we get to point 4. This should be the ONLY thing on Braxton Jones' mind right now: 

Shutterstock Images.

Braxton Jones is going to be the starter at LT next week, even if it's by default because Trapilo is a rookie/RT and Kiran is  "baaaaaaaad" (per one of my sources that has boots on the ground at Halas Hall)… But Jones - injuries aside - has been fine-ish, especially considering he's a former 5th rounder. 

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That's not to say he's been GOOD, but he hasn't been BAD either. He's proven he's at worst quality depth on any offensive line. He has a chance to prove he's a blind side tackle worth sinking sizable coin into this winter, and that he's more than just good depth. 

Take a look at who he'll be facing this year: 

So if I'm Ben Johnson, I'm sitting Braxton Jones down this weekend, pointing to this tweet, looking him in the eye and saying, "If you ball out against these guys this year, you'll earn yourself generational wealth." 

Money is the best motivating factor on earth. Time for Braxton to put up or shut up. 

Lots to talk about on the Stretch Pod coming up. Tune in below. Tom Zbikowski interview drops today. Have a good holiday weekend assholes