WARNING: DO NOT EAT THE BLUE PIGS - The Flesh of Wild Pigs in California is Turning Blue

Thank god the saying goes, "When Pigs Fly", and not "When Pigs Turn Blue", or else there'd be a lot of kids right now holding checks their parents can't cash. 

First it was shrimp turning radioactive. Now the pigs are turning blue. Honestly, they look delicious. Like some sort of special dessert pig. Or the genesis of Burger King's next colorful Bacon Whopper promotion. 

They really weren't joking about the level of neon blue those California pigs are turning. When I first saw the headline without the picture, I assumed it was going to be a dark blue that you had to squint to convince yourself, "Yeah that's got a blue-ish tint to it." 

But those pigs have some cotton candy ass blue skin. Admittedly, it would be a lot more satisfying if the pigs were exteriorly blue. Like if they had blue fur, as this gentleman implies with his stupid fucking video.

Side Note: I know I should be used to this by now, but I legitimately think that guy should be banned from social media. I'm starting to think the UK is onto something with their Online Safety Act. They just aren't implementing it aggressively enough. I'm slowly compiling a list of the types of tweets/videos posted to the internet that should warrant at minimum a lifetime social media ban. People who just knowingly lie are on the list. So is Dov Kleiman. Anybody who doesn't think Dov Kleiman's posts (like this next one below) are worthy of extensive prison time (possibly the death penalty) does not have society's best interest at heart. 

Speaking of things that should be dealt with using assault weapons (wild pigs, obviously). Remember the great 30-50 feral hogs debate of 2019? 

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Poor Willie McNabb posted the single greatest pro-assault weapons argument that has ever been made, and the internet turned him into a fucking meme for it. That day was one of my all-time favorite episodes of The Yak. Way back in the SiriusXM days when Coley was still on the show, and Brandon's hair was still hilarious. I can't find the full episode anymore, but part of the feral hog conversation is in this blog.

And because they mentioned it in that clip, I can't blog about wild pigs without at least providing a link to some badass country dude mowing down hogs from a helicopter with a Beretta. I'd embed the video here, but watching those pigs die was kinda sad, and I've been told we have a strict 'No Nazi's or Dead Animals' rule on the blog here at Barstool.

And since I just referenced a Beretta…

Nazi's and dead animals are off-limits, but I don't see any notes about child predator R&B singers. I apologize, I'm stalling because I'm not sure what else to say about the blue pigs. I have to be honest, I have no clue if wild pigs, feral hogs, wild boars, razorbacks, whatever people refer to them as, are all the same thing, or if they are different species of animal. I've just been using the words interchangeably hoping nobody would call me out. 

The good news about these poisoned blue pigs is that they were only discovered because hunters were already in the process of killing them off. As William McNabb established years ago, they are a god damn nuisance. I'm told their meat isn't especially great either. The only people I've seen eat a wild pig of any sort were the characters on Lost, and they were stranded on a magical hell island. 

But I suppose this could theoretically happen to other wild animals that people do frequently hunt for food. So I guess the moral of the story is that if you're hunting in California, and you bag a deer, and the flesh of the deer is a whimsical blue, you did not just win a trip to Willie Wonka's Meat Factory. Do not eat the blue deer meat. It is poison.