Fitness Influencer Joey Swoll's Retirement From The Internet (Because He Posted A Hulk Hogan Video) Lasted A Grand Total Of 3 Days

After Hulk Hogan died, Joey Swoll, the influencer who's made a living on social media by lecturing people who behave poorly in the gym, reposted an old video of him dressed as Hulk Hogan. 

Naturally, the internet called him a terrible racist for it. Then he got mad about being called racist and said "color*d people" on a live TikTok. Then he did a 180 with an Instagram post where he gave that super-mega-serious apology saying he was unaware of the things Hulk Hogan had done, and that he was sorry for using the c-word. Nobody on the left believed his apology. People on the right were disgusted that he bent the knee. He managed to piss off the internet's two foremost mobs in the span of a week. It was quite impressive really. 

Joey Swoll was so distraught about the fallout from his Hulk Hogan tribute repost that he announced he was quitting social media for good. That's the short of it. I blogged about it last week when it happened. 

But in a shocking twist, Joey Swoll was NOT done with social media. Who could have seen that coming? His "I am done with social media" Instagram post seemed like it was coming from such a level-headed, not-at-all impulsive and emotional place. 

Joey Swoll lasted a grand total of 3 days before returning to social media. In the 3 days he was off the internet, gyms across the world devolved into chaos. Young women worked out in thongs. Men masturbated openly on the leg press. Body builders threw eggs at fat people treadmills. With Joey Swoll gone, it was the Wild Wild West. There was nobody to police the bad actors he had kept at bay for so long. 

But thankfully, Joey Swoll refused to be cancelled. 

I hate how whenever I see an influencer that I don't follow, or don't particularly care for post something serious like this, my initial reaction is always. "Dude, relax. It's not that important. Nobody cares if you're here or not."

Then I'm instantly reminded that there's literally tens of millions of people following them. That they're probably making thousands of dollars on that post alone. And a preposterous amount of people very much do care whether or not Joey Swoll is fighting gym bullies on the internet. 

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But no shit they're not going to cancel you Joey. You built your following on your independent social media accounts. You don't work for ESPN. Nobody can fire you. Instagram and TikTok weren't going to ban you from posting.

The way Joey Swoll managed to post a Hulk Hogan tribute video and have it result in both sides of the internet being mad at him was a masterclass in what not to do when you're in "hot water" on the internet. At least 98% of the time, the answer is always to just let it blow over. Just take some time off. Go on a vacation. By the time you're back, people will have moved on to being mad about robot slurs or something (yesterday, NPR wrote an article about the word "clanker", to their credit they weren't saying we shouldn't say it, they were just pointing out that it exists, and that clanker is in fact a slur, so it's only a matter of time before somebody is getting cancelled for being offensive to robots).

Whatever you do, Joey Swoll… don't drop a hard clanker in your next video. But even if you do, and you have another drastic overreaction where you quit the internet altogether, you can always just come back 3 days later and everything will be back to normal. As annoying as the internet is with getting mad at everybody for every little thing, one good thing that comes from it is that nobody can remember what they were mad about 3 days ago.