Keep Jerry Jones Forever - Randomly Started Insulting His Own Players While Ranting About Giving Micah Parsons A New Contract

Hell yes. This is how I know football is rapidly approaching. When you have Jerry Jones (and Stephen) throwing out insults all over the place, things are good. Remember, it's never their fault the Cowboys are a dogshit organization who hasn't made an NFC Championship game since 1996. This is why football needs Jerry Jones. It warms my heart knowing if he's around, the Cowboys will always be the same. They'll look good in the regular season, get dubbed as a Super Bowl contender at some point, then lose a couple games and eventually do something hilariously dumb in the playoffs for all of us to laugh at. 

I honestly don't know how Cowboys fans even do it anymore. How do you get excited for the season when this is what's starting you off? Yeah, you're a better franchise than like the Browns, Bengals, Panthers, Jags, whatever, but you're also the biggest laughingstock. You have millions of people who all see what's going on, laugh at you and tried to point out what's happening here and it still doesn't matter. 

You ever think about getting hit by a car? Well, Jerry has

I'm going to miss Jerry just making fun of Mike McCarthy though. That's the one difference heading into this season. Other than that, it's going to be business as usual. We just need to find a way to keep Jerry Jones forever. There's something comforting knowing he's there, running a team I fucking hate, just willing to insult his own players while not winning. A beautiful, beautiful thing that can never end.