Report: Tom Brady Has Cemented His Status as the World's Greatest Male by Quickly Moving on From Sofia Vergara
There is a Latin expression the English translation of which you are probably familiar, Non Sufficit Orbis. It's earliest known use in English was on the epitaph of King Phillip II of Spain, who died in 1598. It was carved into his tombstone to summarize his imperial ambitions. But the most familiar use of the phrase comes from Ian Fleming's 007 novels. Because it is the motto of James Bond's family. Later to become the title of one of the Bond films:
"The World is Not Enough."
And never has that expression been made into human form like it has in one Thomas Edward Patrick Brady.
For him, nothing has been enough. Not one Super Bowl ring. Not even six. Not reinventing one NFL franchise, but two. Not merely putting a ring on the planet's most iconic supermodel, but after she could no long handle his relationship with his first love - football - and divorced him, he wasn't content to rest on those laurels, either.
First, he established his dominance over all other living males by charming the current most desirable woman in Hollywood:
... then followed that up with another who's been at the top of the attractive celebrity food chain for decades:
And what did he do from there? Well it would appear he did what only the truly great ever do. His job done, he walked away. He moved onto the next challenge. At least according to sources close to him. And you'd prove yourself to be a fool if you doubted their veracity:
Daily Mail - Tom Brady and Sofia Vergara set tongues wagging last week after it was reported they are enjoying a 'summer romance'.
The pair were first spotted getting cozy on Ritz-Carlton's superyacht 'Luminara' off the Italian coast after Jeff Bezos and Lauren Sanchez's wedding.
The NFL legend was said to have specifically requested to sit next to the actress at dinner during an exclusive two-day voyage - and the pair have since been seen spending time together in Ibiza.
But the Daily Mail can now reveal that any romance was short-lived. The pair are not officially dating - and Brady, 47, has made it clear that he is keen to stay single.
What's more, in a brutal blow to Vergara, 52, it is said that the quarterback can only take her in 'small doses'.
A source tells us: 'Tom loves being single and is enjoying his summer before he starts working again and he is not looking for a relationship. He is always weighing his options when it comes to dating anyone. "Options" being the operative word.
'He's not looking to be settled down right now. He wants to just have fun. Flings and hookups are cool, but if anyone thinks they can have more with him right now, good luck!'
Magnificent. Truly. The GOAT of the gridiron firmly establishing he's the GOAT of life. Once again. When a man is swinging a bat as hot as Brady is right now, it feels like the heater he's on will never end. Betting against this streak would be financial suicide. There's no one who can stop him. No gorgeous starlet will be able to resist him. In the words of fictional legendary ladies man Chazz Reinhold, "It's almost unfair! Like fishing with dynamite."
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Imagine being so much in the zone that you feel confident enough to only take this "in small doses":
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Because you know, with full, unambiguous, 100% confidence that you can do better. Bearing in mind that like Brady himself, Sofia Vergara got a statue in 2025:
When you can drop a beauty so iconic that she achieves Statue Worthiness status in her ancestral homeland, you have reached the pinnacle of manhood.
In 1804, after decades of bloody revolution in order to depose a king and eliminate monarchy, Napoleon ascended to the throne and audaciously crowned himself Emperor for Life of All France. And despite all the chaos and bloodshed of the Reign of Terror that proceeded this moment, the people adored him for it.
What Brady has done, by going from Sydney Sweeney to Sofia Vergara to God only knows who next, is actually bolder than Bonaparte was in that moment. And has forever crowned himself the supreme Emperor of All Men forever. And we the people, his loyal subjects, adore him for it. All hail our once, still, and future king.