Deshaun Watson Got Married This Weekend And The Browns Owner Who Gave Him $230 Million Guaranteed, Jimmy Haslam, Was At The Wedding
First and foremost, congratulations to the Watsons. No matter how many times you fucked my favorite football team over by being the only player we received in what will go down as the worst trade in the history of sports, I can still man up and offer my well wishes for his marriage. But with that being said, that's gotta be about where the love for Deshaun Watson from Cleveland fans and the Browns organization stops, right? We're sitting here as a franchise as the hands down worst team in the league, walking on pins and needles with jobs because our team picked #2 overall this year and are projected to select #1 again next year, all because we mortgaged our entire future on this guy who flat out:
1. Sucked
2. Got injured every two seconds
3. Sucked even when he wasn't injured
4. Cost us 3 first round draft picks and $230,000,000 to acquire
I mean, we hate him and he's gotta hate us, no? And now he's showing he's working out a little bit, right while we're all discussing the 4 way QB battle we have between Flacco, Kenny Pickett, Shedeur, and Dylan Gabriel. Could you imagine if he's cleared to play? What the fuck will we do? If we trot him out there and he throws even 1 bad pass.....of which he'll throw many I'm sure....the Boo Birds will rain down. Hell, I think they'll rain down the first time he jogs onto the field. He decimated this franchise. So surely, no Browns showed up to this wedding, right?
Wrong. Pictured here is Browns owner Jimmy Haslam:
I can't help but laugh. Of course Jimmy Haslam was invited. He's the one who broke all the unwritten rules of football to give Deshaun Watson $230,000,000 guaranteed whether he performed well (he hasn't) or whether he was the biggest bust from a big trade in the history of the league (he was). But didn't Jimmy just say we took a "huge swing and a miss" about Deshaun like a month ago? Saying that while RSVPing Yes to the wedding makes me laugh as well.
Bottom line, the Browns are a dumpster fire. 1-15 season loading, I can't even fake it anymore. Congrats on your first ring though, Deshaun!