If You're Going To Go Around Robbing Gas Stations On Rollerblades, You Better Damn Well Actually Know How To Skate

I'll be honest here--the idea of a masked man going around pulling off heists while using rollerblades as his getaway car is so nails to me. When I heard about a "suspect seen on rollerblades robbing a gas station", part of me wanted to heavily root for the suspect. Not that I'm condoning armed robbery or anything like that. But for the same reason why people are drawn towards the lifestyle of the mafia and organized crime, I'm immediately drawn to a criminal buzzing around the town on rollerblades. 

With that being said...this fella just ain't the one. 

I'm sorry but if you're going to choose rollerblades as your main mode of transportation to getaway from committing crimes, you better be a damn good skater. You can't be rolling around in a pair of skates that you just purchased from Target that still have the little brake pad on the heel. Heck, I don't even love the idea of this guy wearing skates that have those adjustable straps and buckles. If you're going to be the Roller Bandit, then I want to see you rocking a pair of Mission Inalers. 

Basically what I'm getting at here is that you better be able to rip. It's no wonder why this dude ended up getting caught and arrested. All the cops had to do was sit back and look around for a guy blading around with busted ass ankles falling on his ass. The cops probably could have apprehended him on foot. They wouldn't even need to break out the special Roller Taskforce. 

This dude is nothing more than a poser with brutal ankles. A true soul skater would never get caught. 

@JordieBarstool