Dumping Them Out: Least Respected Sports

Welcome back to another episode of Dumping Them Out. I've really scraped the depths of Google Images when it comes to finding fresh new Boob GIFs. About once a month I'll attempt to uncover some new ones, but the rest of the weekends I cycle through the 500ish I have saved on my computer. With all the duplicates I've accidentally saved, that number is realistically probably closer to 250 unique Boob GIFs. Of all the unique GIFs, at least half were filmed on a Gameboy. My point is, it's really starting to feel like I've been rotating through the same 100-150 GIF's for the last couple years. But I'm going to attempt to unlock a new batch today. Sometimes I'll get deep into a Google Images Boob GIF's rabbit hole and all of the sudden I'll find myself on a part of the internet I never knew existed, and it's a plethora of brand new low-quality sub 8-second GIFs of women you could much more easily find anywhere else on the internet. 

Speaking of searching for Boob GIFs, there's a guy on the internet who apparently does nothing but edit his ugly man face over the faces of Hot Girl Boob GIFs. I have no idea what his backstory is. Maybe there's a backstory that would make it seem funny to me, but I refuse to look it up. As it stands, I can't stand the guy. I accidentally click on his GIFs every god damn Sunday because I can't always tell there's a dude's face on the body in the small little Google Images preview of the picture. I've been seeing them ever since I started doing this blog 3 years ago. I can see he's still posting multiple new GIFs every week. I'm really starting to hate him. The joke must have run its course by now. It's embarrassing for him really. Imaging making Boob GIFs your entire shtick? What a loser. And no, I will not give him the satisfaction of posting one of his GIF's here so you can all see what I'm talking about. You're welcome.

Speed Rankings of Sports I Respect The Least
Note: Keep in mind that says sports I have the LEAST respect for. Not NO respect for. I have respect for pretty much any person who's competing in any sport or game. Especially if it's at a high level. But even if I have immense respect for everyone, by definition, there HAS to be 5 sports that I respect less than the other ones.

Professional Cornhole

The only reason I thought to do this Speed Ranking is because a professional cornhole tournament popped up on my television at 1pm this afternoon when Wimbledon coverage ended. I just can't bring myself to take these people seriously. I refuse to believe I couldn't be a professional cornholer if I put the time in. I think pretty much any person with a steady hand and half decent hand-eye coordination could be a pro-level cornholist if they had the bandwidth to corn holes for multiple hours every day. I'm certainly not convinced these guys on my TV right now are truly the best in the world. I think the best in the world is probably some random dad in North Carolina who cleans up at family reunions, and cake walks through the occasional local tournament. But he'll never bother to turn pro because he has better shit to do with his life than travel to random gyms around the country and throw corn with a partner in matching uniforms.

That's the other thing with professional cornhole that bothers me. They're playing these big important tournament in a basketball gym. Cornhole shouldn't be played indoors. It's the most meant for outdoors game of all-time. Like cornhole it isn't simple enough already that they need to go the extra step of eliminating all outside elements. Professional cornhole should be played outdoors in ALL TYPES weather. Adding wind, rain, sleet, snow, etc. would give cornhole a much needed edge. 

Lacrosse 

I think lacrosse is gradually working it's way off my list of least respected sports as it gains popularity (if that is in fact still happening), but as of now the sport still barely exists west of the Mississippi. From what I understand, it's still fairly expensive sport to play. The areas of the country with good youth lacrosse programs tend to be wealthier ones. Ok fine… I'll stop beating around the bush. It's too many white Americans in professional lacrosse for me to fully respect it. How in the hell is the PLL going to claim they have "the fastest sport on two feet", and then roll out a team (Boston Cannons, 3-2) that looks like this…

If you wanna tell me you have the "grittiest" sport, or the "hardest working" sport, then fine. Or maybe "shiftiest". I'll even give you "quickest moving". I see how you're all constantly bopping around out there. Everybody is on the move at all times. (except for 7 of the 10 players who aren't allowed to cross mid-field, so technically they're just standing still for half the game). But claiming to be the fastest sport on two feet with that many whites is just spitting in my face and telling me it's raining. In general, any sport dominated that much by that specific of a demographic has not yet reached a big enough audience to truly have the best players in the world. It's like how a lot of the best cricket players right now are Indian dudes. There's no way. If LeBron James wanted to he would hands down be the best cricket player on earth. 

Polo (Horse)

Take everything I said about lacrosse, except for with Polo I'm not saying it even a little bit tongue-in-cheek. The Greenwich Polo Club better never let the Cut Throat Cowboys onto their pitch, or else their neighborhood is GONE.

Kickball

Of all the adult sports leagues in the world, you will not find a sadder group of intramural hardos than you will on the recreational kickball field. I played one season on a co-ed team in Jersey City. It was probably the least seriously I've ever taken anything in my life. To the point where I usually felt bad getting girls out. But pretty much every team had at least one player who was life and death about every play. Yelling at girls for not covering the base. Trying to run from shortstop to first base to make a play on his own because he didn't trust the girl at first base to catch the ball. Wearing cleats. They make the whole game less fun for everyone. None of these hardo's were even especially good. Which makes sense. Nobody who's actually a good athlete would behave that way in a co-ed rec kickball league. What I came to find out is that our team's hardo played in 3 different leagues all at once. Our Tuesday night co-ed league was his warm up for his Wednesday night men's rec league, which was a warm-up for his most important Thursday night men's competitive league. Boy did that guy stink. I don't know much about the skill level, or the behavioral tendencies of real professional kickball players, but that one guy managed to suck hard enough that I've soured on the sport of kickball for good.

Bull Fighting

Can't believe I almost forgot about the matadors. What all-time cowards those guys are. Fighting already injured animals and acting like they're brave heroes for it. If they're going to kill the bull at the end anyways, the least they could do is inject the bull with rabies so it's an interesting fight. But I will give matadors credit for one thing. They sign up for what has to be the only remaining sport in which a majority of the audience is actively cheering for you to be gored through the stomach. Even if a matador is killed by a bull in the ring, I don't think people feel all tha bad. I mean they're so cocky about the whole thing, if they fuck up and catch a horn, it just kinda seems like they had it coming.