Caitlin Clark World Domination Continues! Breaks Fan Vote Record With 1.2 Million To Become All-Star Game Captain, Sells Out Her Custom Kobe V Sneakers In Less Than A Minute, And Helps WNBA Add 3 Expansion Teams To Philly, Cleveland, Detroit
What a goddam week for Caitlin Clark! She stays winning even whilst sitting on the bench healing her recent quad injury. We'll get to the other accomplishments below but let's take a moment to appreciate the absolute absurdity of those All-Star voting numbers.
3x MVP & 2x Champion A'ja Wilson isn't just a WNBA legend, she's gonna go down as 1 of the best players in either league to ever pick up a basketball. So to see that just 2 years ago she wasn't even bringing in 100,000 votes... But now CC inspired a 13x increase? That is a level of power & influence you cannot buy and only hope to contain.
Somehow still business as usual for her though, she's just trying to ball out & get buckets with her teammates. Possibly all of them.
And right after that All-Star announcement she dropped a commercial for her new custom Kobe V sneakers. Don't get too attached watching though, they sold out in less than a minute today.
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MAMBA MENTALITY.
And while those shoes were selling out, the WNBA dropped a Woj sized bomb on us all too. They've finalized plans to add 3 expansion franchises over the next 5 years bringing them to a total of 18 teams in The W by 2030.
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The Clark Effect is so fucking real. Is it too early to retire her jersey league wide? Paging Pat Riley…
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Gotta love win-win situations. The fans get more basketball, the players get more money & opportunity, and Dave Portnoy gets to continue his victory laps over the next 20 years of CC's career. I hope Jemele Hill is as grateful as I am, we are all salt of the earth witnesses.
And no matter how big of a hater you are, ya gotta admit we're seeing some great stuff every night in the WNBA. Whether it's young guns like Clark & Sabrina Ionescu lighting it up, savvy MVP vets like A'ja Wilson & Breanna Stewart still making history on a high level, future MVPs like Napheesa Collier & rookie superstar Paige Bueckers carving up competition… the bar has been raised for the better with no glass ceiling in sight.
Hell even Angel Reese is doing things we've never seen before. Wonder if Ms. Mebounds will end up getting drafted by Caitlin for her All-Star squad?
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But no matter which team you root for, gotta tip your cap to Caitlin Clark for being the rising tide lifting all ships. She didn't ask to become The Messiah, she just wants to hoop out there. Hopefully she'll get back to doing that soon, possibly for The Commissioners Cup game?
Mainly we need her back to shut up the pundits who've been coming for her crown. Sure Jesus H. Christ had his detractors too, but even he never got accosted by a very smart Mississippi man who hates flopping. This got about as much viral support as anything I've ever seen online. Whoever this giant man is… goddamn does he have beautiful hair.
But what's the point of sports if we can't pick a side to blindly root for right? It's healthy for the league, it's healthy for competition, it's healthy for giving us all something to get fired up about that's not related to nuclear war.
And it's great to see WNBA players starting to warm up to things like "Getting Centel'd" aka getting tricked by parody accounts on the internet. It may seem very stupid, and it is, but that's about 99% of online sports discourse anyway. Welcome to the party pals.
Way to go Caitlin, here's to many many years of you hucking that ball into the hoop for our entertainment.
PS: Absolutely need this BEERS jersey on sale ASAP, get her drafted immediately. Easiest marketing move of all-time.