Netflix's New Documentary 'Trainwreck: Poop Cruise' is Enriched, Weapons-Grade Nightmare Fuel

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Every so often an event comes along that captures the public's imagination across all demographics. Young and old. Rich and poor. Left, right and center of the sociopolitical spectrum. That makes us all drop what we're doing and ask what on God's green Earth is happening here. 

Before there was a Chinese spy balloon adrift over the US, New Jersey drones, the OceanGate Titan implosion or Fyre Festival, there was the ill-fated 2013 voyage of the Carnival Liberty. Forever to be remembered in maritime lore as The Poop Cruise. 

Obi Wan is right. This is a name I haven't heard, or thought about, in about a long time. In a dozen surreal news events ago, if not more. But 12 years ago, it captivated the world. Passengers and crew alike stranded and adrift in what was then the Gulf of Mexico. Finding themselves quite literally in the same boat. Which a fire onboard had transformed from a luxury vacation liner into a floating septic tank.

If there's anything Netflix is still doing well (a dubious premise these past few years) it's their documentaries. And Trainwreck: Poop Cruise is one of their best:

This will be a spoiler-free review, I promise you. What I will say is Netflix did a great job of finding an assortment of people affected by this utter calamity. This crap-tastrophe. Passengers. Crew. People who were fortunate enough to be on land throughout while trying to effectuate a rescue. The cruise director, who nobly tried to keep up moral as people were living in their own filth. A chef, who made a food analogy about the human waste everywhere that might take you off baked, layered, pasta casseroles for life. 

To be fair, this is still Netflix. So they're not about to not include their signature moves. The obligatory B-roll of darkened cabins, the camera panning to bathrooms at weird angles to heighten the feeling of horror. This story doesn't need the camera tricks. It's scary enough for anyone with an aversion to living off of soggy lettuce sandwiches while standing in human feces. 

To be even fairer, this is a very evenhanded doc. It's far from a hatchet job toward Carnival or the cruise industry at all. In fact, there's a "Triumph of the Human Spirit" element to all of it. We can laugh about the thousands of vacations that went all to shit (again, literally) because we weren't there. But this was a survival situation. And everyone involved persevered. As a matter of fact, Carnival hasn't even raised a stink (pun definitely intended) about the film. They've released a statement calling it "a teachable moment" for the industry and assuring everyone they've made the investment to prevent it from ever happening again. And the Triumph has been cleaned up and is still sailing around out there under the name Carnival Sunrise. 

All that said, this might just be my recency bias talking since I just watched Trainwreck. But I don't think you'll get me on another ship at sea that contains the product of 4,000 strangers' digestive systems ever again.