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THAT'S ENOUGH INTERNET FOR TODAY- The Butterfly Effect

6/24/2025 7:00 PM

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Every now and again, I catch myself hunched over my phone with the posture of a fucking jumbo shrimp as I am furiously 'doom-scrolling' until I find something so odd that it makes me question the future of this world.

Typically, the posts that stop me dead in my tracks are sexual in nature, and sometimes they are not sexual at all. But no matter what they are, they are always weird enough to make me wonder-

Why the fuck does this even exist?

Today, that question arose when I bumped into a young lady named Dani Pumpkinzz.

And, listen, if I had seen that her name was Dani Pumpkinzz, I may have been more prepared for what I saw. But she casually showed up on my timeline wearing a butterfly-themed cape that I thought might be perfect for my daughter's next play… And I quickly learned that wasn't the case…

Now, I am not here to fat-shame this young lady… God knows I have spent the last half-century as a plus-sized person myself. That is why I didn't title this blog- You Can't Spell "Butterfly" Without "Butter" or This One Came From A Fatter-Pillar.

But sometimes, when you are having a non-smut-filled scrolling session that comes to an abrupt stop with the revelation of two sizable cheeks emerging from butterfly wings, you have to take a step back…

I assume it would be like inviting your kids to help you find Where's Waldo?, but you instead drift onto a website where Waldo likes to show his substantial backyard…

In either of those situations, you have to say to yourself, "I've truly had enough of the internet for today." and shut that shit DOWN.

And finally, not to step on Glenny Balls' toes, but if this type of stuff is your thing, believe it or not, Dani offers some "Exclusive Content" (code word for full-blown nudity) under the name Pumpkin Cakezz.